Every time DH brings up SD19 to me, I have to grit my teeth and be very careful about what I say.

DH is finally in same town as me. We went to lunch together, phone rings, it's SD19. Instead of telling her he's busy having lunch with his wife (we lived in separate states for 6 months), he takes the call. I have to sit there and listen to him help SD19 deal with a problem.

BM's mom is a crazy lady. She's always putting private business on Facebook for everyone to see, and I get a kick out of it because BM and her mom are on the outs right now and BM's mom is always calling her out about it.

SD19 is old enough she can choose whether or not to spend time with BM's mom. And she does because they live in the same town and half of the time SD is on the outs with BM as well and needs someone immediately handy to give her money.

DH and BM went back and forth over custody of SD19 over the years (court mandated 50/50 when they divorced when SD was 2). To not get on the wrong side of the law, DH did not claim SD on some of the years he was entitled to. When he tried, he found out BM had already claimed her and he decided not to make waves.

SD19 has a friend Dh has always liked, and he really encouraged their friendship (to the point of going overboard in my opinion, but whatever). SD and friend are going to the same college, but friend is SO much more ambitious and driven. Friend works hard and gets all As at college. Friend within a week of school ending for the summer had not one but two jobs. Friend is nicer to my two BDs than SD is.