But my mom doesn't have any money
This is a constant comment whenever SD12 wants something and I tell her go ask her mom.
SD lives with us full time and maybe sees her mom once every 2 months even though she lives in the same city. BM does not give us child support or even offer to get her daughter anything. Lately I have had enough of using my own money to support SD. I was talking with my DH about when we get the custody papers redone, that we need to request child support.. DH said that she wouldn't pay so why bother asking. I want it done for the principle if nothing else.
Anyways I informed DH that I was only willing to put in so much and he had to put in the rest because I was sick of having to pay for a child that isn't my own and has both a mother and father. It was not my problem that I went to school and got a good paying job, my SD was not my financial responsibility. So the next day I took my SD back to school shopping and told her I was only going to be spending so much, she started on why can't she have more and I explained that if she wanted more then she has to go ask her mother or father..her response was as per usuall "mom doesn't have any money" at this point I told her that she was her mother's and father's financial responsibilty and I don't care if her mother has no money, then maybe her mother should be looking for a second job. I know not the best, but I have had it and yes I informed my DH that I told SD this.
Fast forward to Sunday and I am taking SD to get her hair done by a friend. I ask her to clean her room, I checked three times and still her room wasn't cleaned yet she was sitting in the livingroom watching tv or on the computer. At this point I had it. I explained to SD that I was done and that if she couldn't help me when asked then she has no right to ask me for anything other than the basics. I again stated that it was her BM and dad's responsibility to provide for her. I am a bonus and if I want to do something for her then I could, however if she doesn't want to help me then the free ride is over.
Oh and I also started using the I have no money when she asks for frivalous things.
Augh I just had that useless uterus that SD calles her mom.
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You know that is one of my
You know that is one of my biggest pet peeves...BM talking about her financial matters with a child. BM has been doing this since I have know SD. If DH didn't pay CS on time the bitch was calling and getting SD (5 at the time) to call and say how poor they were. Now that we have SD ..BM figures that she doesn't need to pay. I hate that woman so much.
DH comment ws, we will wait
DH comment ws, we will wait to see what the lawyer says about CS. I informed him that a lawyer is suppose to do what DH tells/asks for. Therefore if DH can afford to raise his daughter without financial help, which he can't, then don't ask for CS. However if he wants me to continue to help financially then he better be asking for CS.
CDN girl--I'm a firm believer
CDN girl--I'm a firm believer in child support from both parents. If Bm don't have a job, then get one. When I met my hubby, he was paying child support to the grandmother who kept their kids and his ex wife was paying NOTHING because she didn't have any money. You can image how well that situation went over with me when I was working paying the bills while he was pouring money down to granny over and beyond what he even owed. BM did NOTHING and granny constantly complained because she didn't have enough money and wanted more out of hubby and not her daughter.
I thought both parents should be paying granny child support and I'm not even sure how these kids even got dumped on granny. My hubby had the same theory as your hubby. Don't cause trouble, BM don't have any money, she won't pay it blah blah blah. But child support money is for the KIDS and I feel it is the custodial parent's responsiblity to make sure the kids receive it. I haven't seen step kids yet that couldn't use child support money for SOMETHING.
Anyway, we retained a lawyer and BM ended up paying child support to granny and couldn't believe we would do something like that.
You SD may not need money now, but you can put that money up for something she will need one day (car insurance, school, etc.).
Oh...do you want to know why BM said she shouldn't have to pay child support.."because she laid with hubby and conceived a child." She actually said "I have lain with him and graciously presented him with children so I didn't think he would do this to me." She always like that word LAIN.
When I first got together
When I first got together with DH he was paying BM child support for 3 of her 4 children (he adopted her oldest 2 as to give them all the same name) Anyways the oldest wasn't even living with BM, he was living with her parents. She nearly had a shit when her parents asked her to pay them her son's share of the CS that she was getting from DH.
Yep - the guilt trip... I
Yep - the guilt trip... I hate SS telling me 'but my mom doesn't have any moneyyyyyyyyy!' BM sees SS 4 days a month. Doesn't pay a dime. There was never a formal custody plan and CS was never ordered. SS always says how he doesn't do anything at his moms cuz she has no money. She's never taken SS (at least not in the 5 years DH and I have been together) on vacation but this summer she managed a week vacation with her sisters. I've taken SS on more vacations in the last 2-3 years!
The only thing BM has done is pay for half his braces. We pay insurance, football, private school, day care, clothes, EVERYTHING!