So following on my last post I went to the .memorial yesterday with DH, SS & DIL & yes SD was there. As I predicted she didn't acknowledge me said hello to DH then started idol gossip about nanna ( DH mother ) my horrible nasty mother in-law which he is now is contact with after 4 years also as she's apparently not well anyway I totally disengaged  I gave her nothing I felt very uncomfortable most of evening but chatted with fake SIL quickly then friends.