In high school, there were four of us that hung out all together - like the Golden Girls. The last of us is now pregnant - but really, I am the last one, and I have yet to get pregnant. I am a stepmother which to ME is being parent.
Today my dearest friend said she is finally going to have a baby. I told her congratulations but I realized I don't have any of my own. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS wanting my own baby thing ...

I know that part of it is due to the fact that I am trying to quit smoking. I have been doing okay, taking a couple of puffs here and there, but hadn't had a cigarette since Wednesday (this is improvement since I was going through 1 1/2 packs per day). SO decides that he also wants to quit. I'm already getting worried because I know how I get when I try to quit and I know how he gets, but all seemed to be okay. Until today. SO goes to pick up ss9. When ss9 comes back, he starts doing the little divisive act that he sometimes does.

For a second job my DH works at a motorcycle shop. For those that don't know from past blogs...BM is a stripper. So DH brings up some biker concert thats going on and asks if I want to go, I ask for the info and he says to go on the website for the motorcycle shop. I go to the website and the first thing I see is a flyer for a day that DH works for a car/bike show with car/bike washes by the girls of soandso nightclub. YES, THE CLUB THAT BM STRIPS AT!!! OMG!!! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN???!!! THEY ARE HAVING STRIPPERS DO CAR/BIKE WASHES AT HIS JOB, LMAO!!!

The kids are here for the Summer now. The bf went and got them Thursday night but they weren't out of school until Friday. now that's another story. The mom keeping daughter9 home because she was arguing with friends and it was getting catty!!! So she keeps her home from school!!!!! Arghhhh!!!! **sigh** for another post..... So anyway, BF takes the kids to grandma's house Friday and they want to spend the night, so they do.

I dont love my SS. My husband resents me because of it. Our relationship is falling apart because I cant seem to care for his child the way he cares for mine. Im annoyed and frustrated when my SS is around. Every time I make an attempt to get closer to my SS he does or says something that pushes me away. How do I turn this off?!! I want to love him! I do! but I dont know how! I just want us to be a happy family but I dont see it ever happening. Im so lost and alone. I dont know what to do.

And said that SO is to take SD EVERY weekend and one day during the week. If he doesn't like it then she will see him in court.and that he has to pay her 100 dollars a week. She also said that, SD said I control SO and that she doesn't want me around her daughter. HAHA! Like she has a choice in the matter. I'm here to stay BM!

UGH I don't really know what to do anymore with her.

I have a issue with my ss11. He keeps telling me he does not want to come the 6 weeks this summer that his BD is suppose to have. I can understand his reasoning and little bit in me is saying yaa time to our self and I do not have to clean up after or entertain but mostly I feel for my husband and how hurt he will be if ss11 keeps pushing this.

what does pas mean????i'm so lost!i'm really glad i found this site though and i hope to start getting some help with my situation as soon as i get a private minute from the little prince.

My husband and I have spent 25 years+ raising a blended family of my 2 children and his 2 children who are now adults. When the kids were all young, my husband's brothers and mother treated all the kids pretty much the same. I never anticipated that when they became adults these same people would have the attitude that my children aren't a part of their family.

Today is a great day, I find that when my husband is not disciplining the children, I love my SS more. Today, I have the kids by myself. I love them all equally when I gave them alone, if not feel a little closer to my SS. Today he opened the car doors for everyone, he is only 5, I was so proud of him:)