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Quit playin' "remember when" with my husband!

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 11:37am

OK, went to another hilarious tee-ball game on Saturday. Those kids are a riot! My SS's mommy, on the other hand, not so much...

I've kvetched on here before about sitting with her at games. We really can't avoid her because it's an indoor field with only a few places to watch. She's usually sitting on an end by the time we get there and there's really nowhere else to go.

Saturday, she made three out-of-nowhere references to her past with my husband. And I adore my DH, but the man's oblivious to what she's doing. First, her nephew came in, wearing one of SS's toddler outfits. She said to my husband, "Does that outfit look familiar?" He asked if it was one of SS's and she said, "Yes. Oh, every time I see those I just relive those little days."

A few minutes later, she asked DH if he remembered something about what their spaz dog used to do when she was a puppy. I sat there with what I know was a "WTF" look on my face...

Then, she asked my husband if he remembered some guy from the church they used to attend together and went into a five minute story about his music ministry there and blah, blah, blah... My husband hasn't gone to church there more than twice since their divorce because her "great Christian family" made him so uncomfortable when they did have encounters that he didn't want to get dirty looks in a church that he used to love. (It took a lot for him to go back to that church this past Easter becuase he was still apprehensive about how her brothers would treat him. Fortunately, we didn't see them.)

I wanted to ask her what the hell she was doing, but I kept my mouth shut and mentally rolled my eyes. Then it occured to me later that there's a big void in her life and the past is all she has. I'm the one with a happy present and shining future with my husband. I'm so blessed and fortunate!

But I STILL don't want her playing "remember when" with my man! Wink

Comments

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 11:43am

My hubby's ex doesn't do that because we never sit anywhere with her.. At least we haven't had too.
But his daughter will do that all the time.
Dad, mom said this or that, is that true. It kills me because in all honesty I would love to erase the mom from his mind.. I know that is awful of me. But I cannot help it.. SO I guess part of me is a little jealous.. Oh I hate to be that way.
Anyways.. I hear you and you know you are right.. They have the past but eventually that past will be farther and farther out of site and then its our past, future and present.. That makes sense right?

StressedSM's picture

Submitted by StressedSM on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 11:44am

I think this is about you. Not your husband. I think she is trying to "remind you" that they have a past together that didn't include you. She probably feels like an outsider and alone now that he is remarried, and in doing this she feels a connection to him, and make YOU the outsider. I don't have this problem with my DH's ex-wife, however, I do have this problem with my SD. For the last year, every time we were alone together for more than a few minutes, she tells me stories about when she was "little" with her mom and dad. Me, my mom and dad did this, me, my mom and dad did that. Over the past several months she has started doing that even when my husband is around. She has gone so far as to eelaborate on stories that happened 5 years ago, when she was 6, and can barely remember. This last time, my husband said "how can you possibly remember that, you were two". "And asleep".. I think its her way of reminding me that they have a connection outside of me, and I guess maybe makes her feel better. I am not sure on that. I do know that she feels pretty insecure at times. On some levels, I can totally understand that. But anyway, that's my two cents.

Nise's picture

Submitted by Nise on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 12:16pm

It almost makes you tempted to be the BIGGEST BITCH and say “Remember when my husband left you because you were such an abusive control freak and so he moved out of the house with only the things he could fit in his car and when he contacted you about picking up the big things he’d left behind, like the big screen t.v. and pool table he had before the two of you move in together, and you told him that you either sold all his stuff or set it on fire…” Remember that? Then laugh like a PSYCHO…and say all nostalgic like “ahhhhh, the bad old days….” Lucky for me they were only together less time then we have been together and they were never married!

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 12:23pm

I feel like I could be that way too sometimes.. That is just to funny. Except they were together for like 20 years.. SO it will be 17 more years till I can do that.. I will be to old by then.. DAmn it.

goldenlife's picture

Submitted by goldenlife on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 1:35pm

Nise, you are hysterical! I am doubled over right now!!! That is the perfect twist on a very uncomfortable situation! It's shifts in our thinking about these experiences that will get us through!

I was at the gym this morning and thanking my DH's ex for inspiring me to add two more classes to my workout routine. One of the biggest advantages to having someone hate on you so much is making sure you always look good! I've always taken great care of myself but she motivates me to look my best whenever I leave the house - she's my muse- "How fab would I look if I ran into your Humpty Dumpty a$$ today"?

Remember when you used to beg him to have sex with you and he was just totally disgusted!!!????!!!!

goldenlife's picture

Submitted by goldenlife on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 2:46pm

You told him you were in nursing school and he found out you didn't even have a GED!!!!

Anonymous's picture

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 3:10pm

Remember when... he asked you to do something about your huge "Bert" unibrow or shave your legs for days other than holidays!

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 3:27pm

You told him, "We can keep on living together as roommates, if you want, but our marriage is over"?

If you didn't want him anymore, quit hanging on!!!

And everybody's comments are CRACKING ME UP! Thanks! Smile

Allyceson's picture

Submitted by Allyceson on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 4:22pm

you kicked him out of the house and didn't let him see his daughter because you were mad that he "didn't fold your laundry as carefully as he did his own"?

I love this game, you guys!! LOL

Allyceson's picture

Submitted by Allyceson on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 4:33pm

God, Paranoid....I'm just going to put "ditto" on the end of everything you write. That's kinda scary!!

Allyceson's picture

Submitted by Allyceson on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 4:48pm

Smile Afraid I'm not much help on that one, though.

Allyceson's picture

Submitted by Allyceson on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 5:46pm

That is the ultimate, Nise.
I would also like to point out that before he chose me, he chose NOT to be with you. Even with the kids to use as a guilt trip to try to keep him, he didn't want to deal with your self serving, critical, needy ways anymore.

goldenlife's picture

Submitted by goldenlife on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 6:02pm

This blog has been more therapuetic than months of therapy! I'll gladly send a check for your wonderful work, ladies!

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 6:03pm

He caught you red handed, cheating on him with the greasy spoon cook!!

This IS fun!!

Dawn

Allyceson's picture

Submitted by Allyceson on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 6:29pm

You had him arrested for domestic assault, then admitted to his mother that he had never actually touched you, and still managed to come out of it the victim?

Oh, this is better than therapy. I don't need someone to tell me how to get over what a horrible person she is...I need sommeone who's been in the same boat to help me find the humor!! That's the only way to survive this!

Candice's picture

Submitted by Candice on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 6:34pm

Thanks for all the humor ladies!!! This is BETTER than therapy!!!

Candice's picture

Submitted by Candice on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 6:33pm

The only reason my husband let you move in his apartment is because you were expecting his unexpected child?

Remember when he petitioned you for a parenting plan and you thought you were going to get a big fat payday with child support and that blew up in your face too?

I like the fact that even though the ex is exceptionally pretty on the outside, that nobody really likes her because highly contaminated on the inside!!! I love the fact that my dh cringes at the idea he even dated her. He says she pretty to look at but that is as far as she goes...ha ha ha

goldenlife's picture

Submitted by goldenlife on Mon, 08/28/2006 - 8:06pm

Remember when you left to take the kids to visit your parents and threatened to not come back? Remember when he called your bluff and filed divorce papers while you were gone? Remember how you begged him to take you back - NOT!???!!!

lovin-life's picture

Submitted by lovin-life on Tue, 08/29/2006 - 8:31am

...when when you got caught by that guys wife and she called hubby to tell him she caught you with her husband in a cheap motel......

...when your daughter ratted you out about that guy you spent the night with in Boston.....

...when you forgot it was Sunday, you were screwing some internet guy again and you got caught lying about being out shopping...

...when you took to long in the motel with that guy and left your daughter alone & stranded waiting for you..while hubby was at work..

...when you blew that guy from just out of town on the waterfront and he told everyone he knew about it on the internet..

So when your "thinking of him often..especially today..." remember he thinks of you too once in a while....but not in the same way!!!

An old Cape Breton Proverb once said....

If she had as many on her as she's had in her ..... she'd be a porcupine!!!!!!!!!!! Smile

This IS fun!!!!!

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Tue, 08/29/2006 - 8:35am

It hit me this morning... the next time SS's mommy thinks it's time to take my husband on a trip down memory lane, I'm going to smile sweetly and say, "Yeah, that was a really long time ago, wasn't it?"

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Tue, 08/29/2006 - 10:11am

I rarely come up with good comebacks BEFORE I need them (ya know, it's usually a day later!), so I'm pretty proud of myself for thinking of that one. Smile

Thanks, everybody!

Frog44's picture

Submitted by Frog44 on Tue, 09/11/2007 - 11:53am

OH do I HATE HATE HATE that!!!!! Uh, like, OK if it was so good, what happened?

OH, yeah, remember when you couldn't keep your legs together, and was with just about every guy in the tri county area?

Remember when you would throw ashtrays and anything you could at him giving him a couple of black eyes in the process?

Remember when you wanted an open marriage?

Remember when you told him not to touch you because he made your skin crawl?

This is the BEST blog...it's great to get this stuff out. And I LOVE the Remember when he met me? LMAO

hangingin's picture

Submitted by hangingin on Tue, 09/11/2007 - 12:44pm

hangingin

Remember when you left your family and ran off with a married man,then after you got tired of following him from motel to cousins couch.... and then moved him into your parents house,(and they let you) while your husband and children live across the road and see you with him every day, and you don't even make a move to talk to them?
Then when he decides to move on with his life and remarry, you try one last time to seduce him, knowing how disgusted he feels about you!

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Tue, 09/11/2007 - 1:00pm

left him and didn't think he'd ever find anyone else to love? And then he found me and you told him you knew he was with me only because I helped him with the kids and the housework? Remember when he had the audacity to actually propose to me and marry me (without even asking your highness' permission first) -- and then you watched as your ability to control my little family slipped exponentially? And remember when you thought you could control/manipulate me as you continue try to do with him? And how I refused and you called the house screaming because you couldn't get your way?
This is great!!

Imustbcrazy's picture

Submitted by Imustbcrazy on Tue, 09/11/2007 - 1:41pm

My HUSBAND finally realized that you are a manipulative bitch and left your ass after 6 months of marriage, REMEMBER WHEN he said he was NEVER coming back, REMEMBER WHEN you said you were over him and got knocked up by some loser that ended up in jail and left you for your best friend, with nothing but an additional ABORTION to add to your collection and HERPIES. Remember all that???? GOOD TIMES honey, GOOD TIMES! Remember when my husband told you that if you can't keep MY name out of YOUR mouth that he would stop taking your calls and HE THEN...wait, what??? He STOPPED TAKING YOUR CALLS. That one is my favorite memory. I cherish that one... how bout you? HMMMMM???

Daddys Gurl

It's Better To Have Loved And Lost, Than To Have Spent The Rest Of My Life With THAT PSYCHO!!!!