Allowance
So while we are waiting on word from BM to confirm that we are getting SS for the summer, DH and I went ahead and made a list of rules I would like SS to abide by when he's with us. DH actually went Along with it pretty well. Then we got to the discussion of allowance. I said he should get $1 per day for following the rules. The rules are basic stuff. Just clean up after yourself, ask before you anything that isn't yours, stuff like that, it's not even any chores. So that would make it 7 dollars a week, and 28 a month which he could pretty get a good toy with. DH is like how about 2 dollars a day because with a dollar a day he can't even buy Anything good. Then I said he doesn't need to be able to buy something every week. The point to is to show him how to earn and save money. Am I wrong?
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In my household, everyone
In my household, everyone does chores and helps maintain the home. It's part of being a family.
Everyone follows basic rules of common courtesy. Also part of being a family.
Everyone also gets a little "pocket money" depending on our budget... also part of being a family.
If someone does above and beyond, they might get paid extra, and if someone refuses or is completely rude, part of the consequence might be losing the privilege of pocket money, but I don't recommend associated pay with doing the minimal right thing.
Do you get paid for doing dishes, or being polite?
I actually didn't think about
I actually didn't think about how ridiculous it is to get paid for following rules. The reason I suggested the aLowance thing was to try to get DH to spend less on his son than he does now. Everytime he sees him he buys him a toy around $50 and it bothers me because it is joint money. Should I add chores to the list? Or just drop the allowance thing?
Also wanted to mention that
Also wanted to mention that he has. Ever stayed in our house. All visitation is at MILs. That's why I wanted to establish some rules as I have learned here to keep me sane.
Allowance is a good tool.....
Allowance is a good tool.....
So is a budget.
If you don't address the problem of overspending through your budget, SO will probably just give SS whatever he wants anyway.
I read somewhere a good guideline for kids to get is $1 per week per year of age.... so a 10 year old would get $10 a week....
BUT.... this is to be divided into 3 parts.... one third in the wallet to spend, one third to save for a "big item" like a toy, one third in a savings account. This teaches kids budgeting and saving.
It won't work if a kid is saving for a lego set and is lacking $10 and dad just chips it in.
My kids have bought their own trampoline, video games. My son bought a build your own computer kit.... and he takes good care of it because he bought it.
Here's my prediction. Even
Here's my prediction. Even though you've made rules and your dh agrees with them, SS will not be expected to actually follow said rules. DH will give him the $2 a day regardless and still spend $50 on him whenever he goes to the store.
I agree!
I agree!
SDMH is a prophet!!
SDMH is a prophet!!
I think because we only have
I think because we only have him for the summer anyways it is too little of a time to really put the whole allowance idea to work. I'm just going to tell DH he can only buy $50 worth of toys the whole time he's here. Since he has no toys here I think that is fair.
I DETEST the allowance thing.
I DETEST the allowance thing. I never gave an allowance and still don't. Not to SD and not to my own two bios w/DH.
My MIL actually thought that my SD should be getting $20 a week in high school...WTF? Calculate that and it's $1040.00 a year. UMMMMMM....how about NO.
When I talked w/DH about what his mom "though" he said he thought it should have been $40...ummmm....$2080 a year in allowance to do nothing? Hell no.
Entitlement and spoiled brats is all that creates...even at $2 bucks a week...