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DH Seems not to get it!!!

Baisy's picture

DH seems not to get it either he just does not want to fight with BM or he blindfolded. So BM enrolled SS3 into a preschool program 2 x a week Tue. and Thurs. from 1 to 5 pm. BM is working with his schedule since he does not have set days off his court order parenting time is Wed. and Sat. So DH picks SS3 as schedule if he gets him on Tue. and Thurs he needs to take him to his preschool here is the catch BM says she needs to be there when he drops him and picks everytime if DH days off fall on those day beacuse BM is the only one that can sign him in and out. Full of it!!! They both have joint custody she has physical I know if she make the teacher aware that he is the one dropping him off and pick him on those days BM does not need to be there every time. BM told him because she is the one enrolled in school she is the only that can sign him in and out and she provided the center with court papers stating she is the only one with physical custody.He is on the emergency contact list. Ugh!!! Let me know if I am wrong. My understanding is of 2 parents have joint custody to make decisions for education and health etc. One parent if you notify the teacher with time they are allowed to pick up the child with out the other parent being present especially if they can provide it in writing for the teacher letting them know who is picking the child and if there on the emergency list too. :?

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Baisy's picture

To be honest I believe is both. This is what I dont get at all her court paperwork she stated that DH is intimidating and verbally abusive to her (NOT) because when BM comes and picks up SS3 from visits she always comes alone she always wants DH to go to Dr appts and BM never takes anyone with her just SS3 and now the school BM meets him there for drop offs and pick ups she said each and every time. I also think BM is doing this in case SS3 starts crying or does not want to go with DH she will have who ever was there write a statement about it. BM has done this before for the courts..

Baisy's picture

That is what I told DH. DH even told BM that it would not be in SS3 best interest for her to be there because now DH is not only taking SS3 from BM once but now 3 x a day. The days DH needs to take him to preschool. This is my question I get it DH does not want to argue with BM becuase she is working with him on his days off and BM will quickly turn back to the court order where he wont be able to spend time with SS3. BM has the upper hand here if it doesnt go her way.. Sad

angietaba's picture

She just needs to put him on the emergency list. I have full custody of my children and thats what I did with their dad. Sounds like a bitter ex! Good luck!

Baisy's picture

We live in CA. I also have physcial custody of my both my kids one is 1st grade the other in 4th grade. When I enrolled my kids in school after the split the school office told me to provide paperwork from the court which I did. One thing they pointed out is that my oldest in his birth certificate bio dad is not on becuase we never married and he did not sign the paternity paper at the hospital so ther for he was not included in the BC so they said he was not allowed to pick up our son unless I wrote a consent stating he was able to and what days. So there for I know BM is full of BS!!!!! She is just a control freak and the only way she can control DH is using SS3..

prettyinpink's picture

it seems to me that she is either doing it because she still has feelings for him and wants to see him? or is just beeing a biotch and wants him to know that she is in control! but yes your DH can pick him up when ever he wants he is also the parent unless the court rulled her as the only one with custody... good luck let us know how it turns out

Baisy's picture

No they both have joint custody so they both can make decisions when it come to educationa and health etc. SS3 just physically lives with her the majority of the time. Most def we have an appt with a paralegal that is DH friend tomorrow and you know I will bring this up so DH does not think I am only doing this because I want to be right. I just dont like it when BM tries to pull a fast one. I am way ahead of her. }:)

Tx mommy of 3's picture

I would have dh contact the daycare (phone call) and ask them what heir policy is. Explain he's the dad and will drop off and pick up some days & can hehav permission to do his without bm being there. Once they give him the ok he can tell bm she doesn't need to go.

Baisy's picture

Thank you I will have DH do that tomorrow at least that way he will know whether BM is right which I extremly doubt or that BM is a control freak.. Will keep you all posted.