How do deal with my husbands ex wife.Submitted by BusyB on Wed, 08/18/2010 - 4:55pm
I have been married for seven years to my husband. About 3 years ago we moved to be closer to his daughter. For the first 2 years I put up with his bitter revengeful ex wife. Since day one, she has been the thorn in my side. She gets regular child support and still expects for my husband to pay for other expenses for his daughter. In the mean time, she does not work and has not worked in 8 years. She is remarried and her husband makes really good money. In the past she would always complain she is broke and never has any money. She constantly complains about the responsibilities of motherhood. I know first hand the ups and downs of being a stay home mom, but you deal with it. She feels she needs "Me time" and as soon as her husband gets home from work or a business trip, she is out the door. At her house, the kitchen closes at 7:00pm and my SD is not allowed to go upstairs because she might wake her younger brother and sister. My SD complains to me all the time that her mom has no time for her because she is always busy with her younger two. She doesn't even allow her to hug her. This information is based on what my SD tells me. When issues come up, I never get involved. I have always believed that when it came to any discussion regarding my SD it was always between my husband and his ex wife. If my husband asked me for my opinion I offered it to him. Right now I am at the point to where I Hate his ex wife. I know hate is a strong word, but she really gets my blood boiling. She is very controlling and feels she has to manipulate my husband and SD. She will call my house and come of being a total B. I am trying really hard to control my anger. I desperately want to put her in her place and tell her what I really think of her. But then I think of my SD and it would just hurt her. I;m tired of being the better person, but I also want the ex wife to back off and stop poking her nose in our business. She was the one who wanted the divorce, had my husband move her from California to Washington and by the time the first house payment was due, she served him with divorce papers. She took everything and yet she still is not happy and it bothers her to see how happy we are. There are many issues with her, I can probably write a book, but I want to get passed them. I know she is not worth it. I know I can't change her, she is who she is. Her seeing me react to her is allowing her to get to me and that probably makes her happy. I just want her out of our life but I know that will never happen.