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Exhausted of being in limbo

scorpio's picture

Finally,two weeks ago I told FH that I had enough, was not happy and was leaving. After a weekend of talking it through, I decided to stay.

Now two weeks after our talk, I feel the same way. I'm sick of being ignored by my two SS, sick of their rudeness and feel nauseaus at the thoguht of going back home after work and seeing them.

I think I 'm at the point where I really hate them. I never thougth I coudl hate anyone, not kids. They are now 15 and 11. I know they are not to blame for their behavior, their mom is a crazy b*tch and Dad never takes responsiblity.

Why? did I not leave.. why am I always so scared of leaving? I'm only 29 have a 6 yr old son. I'm finacially stable. and yet with this man who does his best but it's never enough for me. I don't find him affectionate enough, he's older and does not want more kids. It's almost like I love him when SS are not home and want to leave the week they are there. I cannot go on like this much longer.

scorpio's picture

true, I'm sure they know that what they are doing is destroying me. They see me get upset and cry. They know it's not right but keep on being the same way. I guessed they learned that from the best (their dad).

stepkate's picture

If you believe their father is to blame, then at this point, he's the one you should be watching for changes. If dad can't change, the logic would follow that the kids won't, either (and even if he does, who is to say that it isn't too late?).