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Found out that sons dad blocked me

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

My sons dad has not seen him in over 4 years. He has joint custody and pays court ordered child support. My son has had retainers for over a year trying to prevent braces. I text my ex in November and said the orthodontist didn’t think the retainers were doing the job and he would probably need braces. I would contact him when I knew for sure. He has a iPhone and the message was marked delivered. No answer but that’s normal.

Fast forward till today. There has not been any contact sine that one message in November. Found that that son does need braces. I text him and tell him and that I would give him the financial details when I got them. Message was not marked as delivered. I tried calling him. It rings once and goes straight to voicemail. I googled it. Says I have been blocked!

Child support papers say he is required to pay half of braces. He paid half of his retainers when he got them last year after me sending him a certified letter.

Comments

Redin's picture

That is what child support is for. Your ex is not a big ole piggy bank for you to open whenever you feel entitiled to his money. There is NO medical requirement for your son to have braces. If you want him to have straight teeth then you pay for it and leave the man be. Your son can live with crooked teeth. Poor people get by so don't tell me he has to have them or else.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Other than the man is COed to pay half. He doesn't have to pay OP, either. He can pay directly to the orthodontist. He can also ask for a second opinion if he thinks his son doesn't need them, but as he has been absent for four years and has already been paying half for retainers (basically acknowledging that he knows his son has an issue), I doubt any judge would let him out of his already COed obligation.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

I think you missed the part of her post that said the court order says he is required to pay half of braces.

op highlight that part of the court order and sent it to him by certified mail with the request for half of the bill and tell him if he doesn't pay you will file contempt charges. And if he doesn't pay file contempt charges

Redin's picture

Its digusting you can force someone else to pay because you want to cosmetically change your child. They aren't necessary.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Overbites and underbites can affect the alignment of the jaw. Not ALL braces are cosmetic. A fair number are MEDICALLY/DENTALLY necessary.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

^^^ I had an overbite growing up that was SUPER bad... My bottom teeth cut into the roof of my mouth and it HURT all the time... Braces fixed that... Plus it helped my jaw stop popping all over the place once everything was where it was supposed to be... It's not all cosmetic...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Jaw popping is issue that might require corrective surgery of the temporal mandibular joint - the disc cushioning the bones stretches out, "catches, and POPS back into place. That's what makes the popping sound. If this continues to happen, the disc can become permanently overextended and require surgery to correct it or an artificial replacement disc. I know someone who had all of her teeth pulled to eliminate the problem. Dentures at 28!

Bones, joints, connective tissues... dental problems can cause mouth pain, headaches, neck pain/aches, shoulder pain/aches.....

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I was lucky! I overbite just caused a tendon to stretch out. So braces pulled it back into place (Also the rubber bands they gave me were SUPER small to limit jaw movement) And it helped it go back to where it should be without all the excess use Smile They were worth it and stopped a LOT of pain.

lieutenant_dad's picture

She isn't forcing him. The court is. She is paying half, too. She has pursued other options for a year as well to fix his teeth/mouth. If Dad doesn't like it, he am get a second opinion and say NO. He can go back to court and ask for the CO to be changed.

Sweet T's picture

Medical/dental are generally separate from cs, just like day care is at least in my state.

For example my decree has cs based on my exes income/My income/ his cs to bm1...I make more money so that is not a huge. amount. Then they look at who carries the health insurance. In our case I do and he pays 30%, then they look at day care and he paid 30% to my 70. Any out of pocket medical expenses I pay 60 he pays 40%.

That said I never give him medical or dental bills because he is such h a jerk it is not worth it to me.

My son will need braces and my insurance will pay 2k, I can go through the state and they will do the collection just like they do the cs.

Ilumine's picture

Actually that is NOT how Child Support works. There is a reason why medical, dental, childcare and travel expenses are listed separately from the basic child support.

As to his orthodontic needs, given the background on the OP and the boy needing a retainer in advance, the odds are the braces are a medical necessity to ensure that his mouth closes properly - which affects a number of muscles & tendons in his upper body and his ability to breath properly. I doubt that you would deny this care if it were medical RIGHT? Or are you that misguided.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

OP never stated she would refuse the child the care. That was someone completely different being hostile and making assumptions.

Thumper's picture

Joint custody...so the order gives dad eow for visitation, maybe summers, 1/2 of Christmas, maybe 1/2 of spring break ....right?

So your not getting the child braces unless dad pays?

GET the child braces

lieutenant_dad's picture

Where did she ever say she wasn't going to get her son braces?!

She is just pursuing half of the cost. Sounds like Dad will pay if he was paying half of retainers already. Kind of sucks that he can't at least tell her that he doesn't want calls or texts from her, leaving her to guess and send him certified mail.

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

Sons dad got remarried about 5 years ago. They had a baby and the stepmom decided it was “easier” without my son there. Her words. He has not seen him since. He used to call every once in a while.
I will still be getting my son braces because he needs them. He can pay his half directly to the orthodontist. I don’t have to see the money. Would just make it a lot easier if he would pay what he is required to pay. My son had ADHD and his medicine is $50 a month. I have never tried to get him to pay half of that or any other thing other than retainers and now braces.

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

I got a print out for the retainers detailing the price of everything and mailed that to him along with a letter and a copy of the child support order. Took him about 4 months but he paid it.

WTF...REALLY's picture

So sorry. I can understand why you’re frustrated about this. Sad

My husband’s ex-wife supposed to pay half of the braces as well. She never did and I ended up having to help pay for them. It sucked. She did need them.

Acratopotes's picture

I would take the CO to the Orthodontist and they can invoice Dad directly, with a full report lol.... if he does not pay it's his problem not mine...
don't know if it works on your planet but that's how it works on Mars...

ishouldrun's picture

Where I live the Friend of the Court office will enforce the CO and add the cost of the braces to the NCP's child support. If that's not possible you can go back to Court for payment of the braces.

momjeans's picture

“Poor people get by so don't tell me he has to have them or else.”

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You’ve got to pay the troll toll, Redin.

beebeel's picture

In my state, you can submit unreimbursed medical expenses to your child support office and they will tack in on to his monthly payments.

beebeel's picture

In my state, you can submit unreimbursed medical expenses to your child support office and they will tack in on to his monthly payments.