Its supposed to rain, but instead, we got a hard drizzle. Either way, its moisture and moisture is good. Weve been so dry, and all the fires then heavy quick downpour have devastated an already tragedy-infused area.

If youve watched the news, you have a good idea where that is.

The other night, SO and I decided to go out to a wonderful gathering at a wonderful seaside resort, have some drinks and socialize. Well everyone was there, including my ex-fiance.

Now, I was already feeling fragile (hence my writing "Mirror mirror"). And was needing a break from everything. I saw the ex, and he was obviously SMASHED. And hanging with another couple, who used to be good friends. And with his neighbor, an older lady who was driving him home. I recognized his condition, as I have seen it many times before. I saw him, said hello, and went off to talk to my good friends, and give hugs to those going through hard times. SO went off in another direction.

Apparently, while discussing some business with SO, my ex fiance called my SO CHEAP. He is frugal and price conscious, but not cheap. When he has the ability he splurges. And then the bomb dropped when SO related how he was sitting there in the group and ex fiance declared that he was still in love with me. OK. My response was "Thats wonderful, he still loves me, even after calling me a whore, b!tch, slut, and punching me in the stomach and choking me, after throwing me against the wall, slamming my wrists against the wall to dislodge my phone so he could toss it in the toilet to prevent me from recording him being abusive."

Its been bothering my SO all week. Today, that darn mirror thing has been bothering me (see previous post, "mirror mirror on the wall"). I told him that I felt that he and she were still enmeshed, that he still cared about her feelings and his promises to her were more important than my feelings (thank you ST, it was really apparent after posting about it, and reading your responses!) That I am not his one and only, that there is Munchkin, TBM (Toxic BM) and then me, in that order.

I came up with this solution: I texted ex fiance that it was definitely NOT ok, to call SO cheap because he doesnt want to buy something from him, and that it is definitely not ok to declare his undying love for me to all our friends, and to him as well. I asked that SO text TBM that there is to be no more asking/demanding things from our home, period.

We shall see. I feel better knowing that this is clear, and hope that SO is feeling better now that I called out ex-fiance. I want a new year, and I want things to be different. I want to be the priority. I want the tides to change in our favor...