SD12 mom just had a baby last year its almost a year old. They live in a small house 2 bedroom with 4 people.

Come to find out SD12 is pretty much living with her friends. She has not stayed at her moms more the 2 days in the last month (starting of winter break till now). It drives us nuts. How can a mother just let he child run off and not keep her.

I am scared SD12 is going to start getting wilder. We did at one point have her full time. Even went for full custody but lost. We always think how much different she may of turned out if BM cared a little or we had her.

A little history on BM we have had our ups and downs. Some times she is a great mom, then some times she is just crap. She lets SD do what ever she wants, with who ever she wants. She has no rules and when we tried to give her rules BM went nuts! SD yells, and disrespects her mom, she does not me as bad (yes she has a little attitude but nothing like her BM gets. And her dad she would never think about back talking)

Around age 9-10 SD was going nuts on social media. Posting inappropriate pictures, talking to strangers, looking at things that would make a grown man blush. We tried to put our foot down ( but 4 days a month doesn't really matter)BM said we are over reacting and the more we punish her the worst it will be get. Well here we are at 12 she is still pretty wild on her accounts, we ignore most unless its going to hurt her or get her in trouble. Then when we saying things SD stops coming over or BM starts talking crap about us.

SD has no filter on any thing she post, or who she talks to. BM just thinks its a kid being a kid. Every time we follow her BM makes sure she blocks us. DH has fake accounts he follows her with but most of the time checking what she is doing just stresses him.

Any ways it seems hopeless. DH is upset but know full custody is out of the questions. After the last time. proving drug use, drinking and driving with SD in car, sexual assault in the home in front of SD, and that we had her for 1.5-2 years full time wasn't enough her feels like nothing will be. BM would get her some weekends on the ones she did she would go wild and party like always dragging SD along We even had a picture of 4 year old SD drinking a beer. BM said it was just a joke.

And even if we went to court BM would fight it and SD would say she didn't want to live with us. She has 100% freedom and control of her own life. She doesn't have to answer to any one at BM's house.

BM has a new baby so SD is put on the back burner. SD has started saying she hates the baby and hates being home. But when we offer more weekends or more time BM throws a fit and says no. She lives pretty good drive away so 50/50 would be very hard with school ( an hour drive both ways).

This is pretty much a rant on why we DH so stupid to sleep with a trashy lady.