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Update to college rant!

Justmyluck's picture

Quick recap: SDalmost18 lives in another state. We typically see her at Christmas and over the summer. During Vhristmas she informs us that she wants to move in with us to take advantage of the free college that NY offers. However in order to be eligible she would have to 1. Establish residency here, meaning she’d have to live with us for one year prior to applying for college (ugh!) and 2. She would have to stay in NY for 4 years to work after graduation. Not to mention all the strict rules that she’d have to follow as far as classes and grades or the fact that we live nowhere near a college and it won’t pay for room and board

DH was of course over the moon that his daughter was finally coming to live with him for the first time ever. It was like the second coming of Jesus. I was less than thrilled that I’d have a lazy, childlike mini BM to look after. You lovely ladies suggested she apply for the Pell Hrant which I looked up. Being that BM and her husband are very low income she’d qualify for pretty much all of her tuition to be covered.

I made the crucial error of sharing this information with my husband and he accused me of looking up ways to get out of having her live with us and told me not to mention anything to her. Ugh.

But ladies a miracle just happened. SD texts DH tonight to inform him that she does not want to live with us, she figured out the Fafsa/Pell Grant thing (on her own) and she wants to stay there because we “control her life” and “never let her do anything”. Lol lol . Now mind you we just have this girl $400 in cash. My poor mother spent hundreds on gift cards for her, we take her to dinner and shopping all the time and never has she lifted a finger to complete one chore.

Ow DH is all mad at her SM is happy as a lark, pointing out all the nice things we did for the ungrateful brat. Maybe she didn’t like the fact that we don’t hold her hand and baby her like mommy does? We actually make her use her words and talk to strangers and order her own food like a big girl. Maybe she wasn’t too happy when wicked old SM said that she wasn’t going to be taking care of a lazy adult and she have (gasp) a few chores and have to get a job to pay for her own car? Maybe she didn’t like the fact that I’d be on her to get good grades and launch ASAP after college? Maybe it’s easie to stay with mom who will let you run wild and be a perpetual adolescent with a crappy old clunker of a car (but hey at least she doesn’t have to get a job to pay for it- the horror!)

Please pray for me that nothing changes between now and graduation!

Comments

fairyo's picture

Seems karma has brought you a gift Justmyluck! Sometimes these chickens do come home to roost- poor DH getting all his hopes up...ha ha!

DaizyDuke's picture

Oh boy, I don't know if this is good or bad? Good because in the short term you don't have to deal with her... except will she still have to live with you for that year to establish residency?

Bad, because if there are ANY issues for her at college.. she hates her roommate, she gets drunk every night and gets kicked out, she gets poor grades and gets kicked out etc etc. IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT. DH will blame you for being the horrible SM who made your home so that SD wouldn't want to live there. Maybe if you would have been nicer, more loving, treated her like your own, held hands and sang Kumbaya, then she would have lived with you and he could have "saved" her. Mark my words! Your DH sounds EXACLTY like mine. He was never so excited for SD to move in with us at 14! It was a nightmare that I have trouble even talking about.

Your SD sounds just as immature and lazy and manipulative as mine. Mine went to college to follow her boyfriend. Now that they are broken up, she wants to quit and move back home to our state... NOT our home. Thankfully DH does NOT want to relive that nightmare either. But even just being in our state will be a nightmare.. Guaranfreekingteed. Ugh, I get a stomach ache just thinking about it.

Hope all works out for you and you can avoid the blame game!