luciasek's picture

7 and 9 year old step daughters

Hello everyone, I found this website today and I am glad I am not the only one who has issues with step kids. I will try to keep it as short as possible but I already know that my post will be more than just few sentences. I have two step daughters one is 9yrs old and the other one is 7. Don't get me wrong I love them both but when it comes to the younger one she is driving me insane. I think it is mostly her father's fault because he is favoring her a lot, well, let me rephrase, he favors her all the time while the older one always has to do whatever she is told and usually left out. If you would meet the younger one you'd think that I am insane for saying this but to be honest she is pretty good and putting on a show. She seems like the sweetest little girl but once you tell her to do something or stop doing something then she will start throwing a tantrum! Not to mention, she is constantly starting fights with her older sister only because she knows nothing will happen to her. My question is, how to get the dad to be more fair towards his older daughter and also if there are some books or other resources where I could find out how to make the little one do simple things as pick up after herself, brush her teeth and mostly how to make her stop throwing tantrums all the time for no reason. I have no kids on my own but ever since I started dating my boyfriend I became the mother to two girls and I have to admit I was raised to be respectful, not talk back to my parents and mostly I didn't have everything that I wanted. If my boyfriend says no to the younger one she goes nuts because she knows that her dad will eventually give her whatever it is she wants. I honestly don't know what to do. thank you for reading my long post and I really appreciate any advice


notsurehowtodeal's picture

"...but ever since I started

"...but ever since I started dating my boyfriend I became the mother to two girls..." The thing is, you are not their mother and never will be. You are not even their stepmother. Since you are just dating, there is no reason for you to be in the "mother" role at all. They are his children, let him deal with them. No need for you to make sure teeth are brushed or tantrums not thrown.

Are you sure you want to be with a man who would so obviously play favorites with his daughters? That is a horrible thing to do. The older daughter is going resent his treatment and become a problem as she gets older. Read around on this site and you will get a feel for what your future will hold.

Frustrated Stepmother's picture

My advice: get out now before

My advice: get out now before you're in too deep and find a decent guy with no children. If he can't discipline her now, worse her behaviour is going to get and more and more miserable your life will become. Believe me. Do you really want to be with (and maybe have children of your own with) a man who treats his children so differently?