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O/T - Donations,

Acratopotes's picture

I read an article where a couple had more embryos then what they wanted, and donated to other childless couples with a huge huge clause...

They want updates on the children, they want to be part of the child's life...

now this to me is wrong on so many levels, if you donate embryos it's a donation, you have no say what so ever after wards in what happens with it, I feel you have no claim to that child?

If you have more then 2 liable eggs what would you do with the rest? Donate for step cell research , destroy or donate to another couple with no expectations, ? Shouldn't this be like closed adoption?

I can't find the bloody article but it's been bugging me now for a day or 2

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

If it's similar to an open adoption where bios get a picture, written updates, and the child had the ability to contact in the future, then okay. However, if the bios are expecting to basically get to co-parent kids that they have zero legal or financial obligation to, then that is definitely overstepping. You don't get to shuck the responsibility while keeping all the good bits; that's how you PAS an adopted child from their REAL (i.e. adoptive) parents.

If I had leftover embryos, I would hope I would donate them, either to a couple or research. Honestly, I'm unsure I'd want to know which happened, and if I had to know that a couple got it/them, I don't want to know who they are or anything about the child, especially if I was unsuccessful at getting pregnant.

Then again, the likelihood that I would have to make that kind of decision is miniscule as I refuse to go through fertility treatments that are that invasive.

ESMOD's picture

In this case, another woman has actually carried the baby etc.. so it's even less like an open adoption. I think it is would be nice if the donors would be willing to meet the children or share information with them.. but having more of an obligation/bond with the kids isn't fair to the family that wants to have a child "of their own".

I agree that this seems like overstepping.

ntm's picture

If the prospective adoptive parents don’t like the terms, they’re free to continue looking for a donor. Embryo adoptions are handled through adoption agencies and different bio parents have different feelings on how much contact/information they want on their offspring.

advice.only2's picture

These are called snowflake babies, my friend just had a snowflake baby, she said they were not given any of the bio parents personal info, just their genetic information...and she said they did have to pay for the embreyo and it was much less expensive than a surrogate or IVF.

Acratopotes's picture

who ever thought of the term snowflake babies - obviously never dealt with skids then lol...

yeah that's what I get - it's not a donation from the original human if there's a whole lot of conditions attached to it, if you donate your snowflake then you are done with it, you are not suppose to know who got it, how it's raised nothing...

but this one woman who donated had a total different view and is crying now cause the mum is not responsive and disappeared with the baby...

advice.only2's picture

They call them snowflakes because they are frozen... Blum 3

I agree, when you sell something, it's no longer your property.

secret's picture

Didn't really see where they was a contracted clause... just that the new mom to be agreed they'd exchange pics and could see each other once a year.... then the donor mom was told she miscarried by the IVF clinic, because the new mom told the IVF clinic she miscarried.... found out after the kid was born they kept it from her... nothing could be done because there was no "record" of the pregnancy...

seems like the new mom totally lied, and the donor mom is just hurt about it...

Acratopotes's picture

the point is - the donor mum had no right demanding/requesting this IMO.... who does she think she is, if she wanted to keep track of her embryos she should've used them all and not donate them in the first place.

Secondly I get why the new mum did this, she wanted a child so badly that she would do anything to get what she wanted, maybe she was scared if she says NO the donor mum will not donate... I totally get why she did what she did, a donation is a donation without any conditions.