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Exhausted but still plodding towards the finish line

Paintcrisis's picture

Is it the 25th yet? Can it just be over?

Willow, I had to update and tell you I am still moving forward. Slowly but surely. My 5 jobs keep me too busy to think but the next few weeks can’t come fast enough.

STBXH has been jeckyl and Hyde with me. That’s the exhausting part. Well, that and the fact that Mr Baby -who is Mr Toddler now, is not sleeping, like ever.

I have to try and keep H happy by pretending to be nice. I have to weigh each word and be polite when I really want to just hurl in his direction. But if I don’t, he won’t sign the closing papers, I know. Even though he’s not on the deed or mortgage, my state says he has a say in it all. So I have to pretend.

H is very nice one day but then the next he is borderline abusive. He keeps trying to trap me in some confession of having affairs. I suspect he is projecting on me. He also makes statements like how he will have 50/50 custody and good luck surviving without him.

Then he yells at me and calls whomever we are talking about horrible names. But it’s all on record.

It’s scary how his switch flips. And it flips more and more the closer we get to closing and the more he realizes this is actually happening.

Skids were here this weekend and that always makes him angrier. I am so happy I will only see them once more. I really think he will stop visitation with them once the house is gone.

On the Home front, the kids and I are moving into a camper. 3 kids, 2 cats and me, however long until the townhome I applied to gets vacated. I sort of wish we could live in it all winter, just for fun. I think it would be a great adventure, haha!

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Is there any way whatsoever that you could move out a few days before closing, or have a friend or relative move in with you temporarily?

I'm concerned that his anger/abuse will escalate to dangerous levels right at the time it comes to close on the house. The last thing any of us want is for someone to have to post an update that you ended up hurt or dead.

If he really refuses to close on the house, consider it a loss. Let it go into foreclosure. Let him have it. Just please, please, please don't put yourself or the kiddos at risk. The house isn't worth it.

thinkthrice's picture

Be very careful. My physically abusive 2nd ex/alcoholic used to accuse me of infidelity constantly which turned out to be pure projection.

BethAnne's picture

Stay safe. Do you have a back up plan in case you need to get out early or he refuses to sign?

I am glad you are looking at the camper as an adventure, it will help the kids to adjust too. Just a few more days, you are almost there.If you can avoid him as much as possible and keep the kids out of the house over the last few days too that might be a good move (can they stay with a friend or relative while you pack up?).

classyNJ's picture

Please be careful and stay safe. As other posters have said, try to get out of his way prior to closing to avoid his anger. Im afraid it will only get worse.

Willow2010's picture

So glad you updated Paint!! Yes…be very careful. He is going to go off the deep end once he really figures this all out and that you are not going to be his outlet for his anger issues. I agree with the other ladies…get out before closing. Maybe just tell him you and kids are going out of town and will be back the day of closing. He won’t even know you moved out. Lol.

Hang in there and keep us posted Paint. And be very very careful. (((hugs)))