My guess, and it's only a guess as what we have to base our opinion on is very short, is that the daughters only want to see their dad without the new wife. My guess, and it's only a guess based upon personal experience, is that the daughters would get to see dad alone sometimes if they stopped excluding the new wife.

I can't imagine the wedding crier wanting to be with dad and new wife. I can't imagine that she slipped quietly out of the wedding to cry and slipped back in with a brave smile on her face. I imagine, that since they were likely seated at the front, that everyone saw her leave.

Dad has probably had it with the crier and her lack of concern for his feelings. Yes, mom died. Yes, her loved her mom. Yes, if she were still alive they would still be married. But, she isn't alive, and although he still loves her, life goes on, and he is remarried. I imagine he's fed up and is at the point of accept my wife or lose me. He is not being held hostage to their memory of their mother.

Amy should have told uncle to tell the daughters to get some counseling to deal with their mother's death and their father's remarriage.

"Apparently new wife is not encouraging dad to spend much time with his daughters."

I'm confused. Why would the SM EVER be blamed for the quality of the one-on-one relationship between a father and his children? Aren't they all adults? Is SM hiding all phones, car keys, and email access?

I don't much care reading 'advice' columns like Ask Amy. There is so little to go on that the advice may be way off. In any direction, good or bad.

I can't say that the daughter who stepped out of the service to cry, didn't attempt to apologize and/or explain her reaction to the bride (OP seems to indicate the SD "should have done a better job", or tried to "reassure the bride it wasn't because of the bride"). I have no clue as to what the SD did or didn't do after the crying.

The SD (id it were the youngest SD) , was what, 16-17yrs old when her mother died. Hard age to lose your mother. Maybe the SD didn't cry at all due to Dad moving on. Maybe she cried because it hit the SD that her own mother would not be at the young lady's wedding. Not help her dress for the walk down the aisle.

I do know I would not like not being able to see my father what-so-ever unless my new SM was present. I'm not saying I'd throw a dinner and invite all the family except the new SM, I mean more alone the lines of why can't Dad meet me for coffee for an hour some morning and perhaps just chat? Yeah, yeah, I 'get it' he's married now, but he and his new wife are not attached at the hip. My father is deceased, has been for a long time. Mom went on to have a relationship with her SO for 22yrs until SO too passed on. But I did lunch and things occasionally with just Mom. I just can't imagine having Mom say 'no, we can't do lunch unless SO also comes'.

I wish the woman would have given more to go on. I just feel these two SDs are going to be judged , tried and sentenced based on such little information. The girls did attend the wedding, so they appear to at least been willing to give the marriage some chance of a go at. We know nothing about whether this SD begged and tried to stop the relationship pre-wedding. Maybe she did. Maybe SD hates the fact Dad moved on. Maybe the SM to be (now SM) is a witch on wheels (evil SMs do exist whether *we* like to acknowledge that or not). Here we have gotten member postings from to-be-SMs or new SMs who want nothing to do with the new husband's children and some of those in those instances have done nothing more than exist.

Hard to say what the case with Amy's writer is. If I were the Aunt, I would keep my nose out of it. Whatever happened, whatever is still happening is, IMO, not something Auntie needs to stick her nose in. Father and daughters will either care enough to come together and talk about it and try again or they won't. No one will send Auntie a thank-you note. For one, I highly doubt the Aunt has heard or knows what all has taken place either.

I agree. I do think Amy gave good advice. But, this sentence, "They told me they haven’t been in communication with their dad, who lives in the same city, since he remarried last September. According to them, he is focused now on his new wife and her daughters and can only see them if his new wife is present." Reading between the lines, this reeks of self-entitled adult SK double-speak. They don't have to accept dad's wife even a bit, but dad's wife is supposed to unconditionally accept them and let SKs relationship rules run her and her DH's household.

Call me a mean SOB, but I don't think SD cried and left because it was "just" a reminder that their mother was gone. I do think it was personal. My guess is that when SKs were younger, they got away with a lot. Now, that SKs are older, and especially since dad is now remarried, they are not getting away with as much anymore. And, like many adult SKS rather than stepping up to the plate and them sucking it up for ONCE, and realizing that dad and his wife are a package deal, instead they are trying to blame SM for everything, and poor ol' dad and them are just a suffering away. Evil SM is preventing any communication between them by sprinkling her Evil SM mind-control potion on DH's cereal every am. And, you know what is even worse?, most people will believe it. Dad is incapable of independent thought.

No one can keep a person away from his/her own willing adult children, if they want a relationship. Blaming the SM, an outside party, is ridiculous.

Hmmmm, they didn't go to college and are making do by working restaurant jobs. Why does this reek of they don't want to see Dad so much as they want to see his wallet? There is so much more to this story.

Not a lot of info. in that Ask Amy piece. That said, let me say first "Oh those poor girls just had to ruin part of dadee's wedding instead of being happy for him." Really, after seven years they cannot try to be happy for their parent and supportive of him. I do like her advice in saying to uncle to not step in any further. In other words, "Mind your own business."

We have a couple of busy body in-laws, who made many comments to DH. He has heard all about how he should try and be more of a family man to his adult children, blah, blah, blah. This comes from some relatives whose own lives are messed up. DH's response is usually the same in that his sisters and brothers, who are aunts and uncles to the adult skids, have no clue on how horrible the skids are to both of us and DH quickly changes the subject. He keeps telling me he is going to tell his siblings to mind their own business one day when they start on him. We shall see. Of course they never bring it up when I am around unless I hear them on speakerphone. Another point DH always makes is that he does not tell them how to run their lives and butt in, so why do they? I know why, and we have suspected this for a long time. It seems the skids encouraged their aunts and uncles to talk to DH when I am not around. It makes sense as the comments come from those who are very close to the skids and we have heard skids have done this from another relative.

Any adult walking out on a wedding is just plain rude. You just don't do that unless it is some type of emergency. YSD and YSS walked out of our wedding celebration party and never returned. Grow up, be happy and respectful of your parent already. After the way they treated my DH, they will never get any sympathy from me.

There is a possibility that it is DADDY'S decision to only see his daughters with his wife present....