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DH is in denial about his son having ADHD

missmama1234's picture

Hey!

Just ranting...
I am pretty sure my SS10 has ADHD just a mild case.
Two of his sport coaches approached my DH telling him that SS doesn't listen and is off in his own workd etc. one of the coaches straight up asked him if he has ADHD. My DH was furious so it makes me not not want to open up about it either because I know he will just get defensiveand we will end up arguing. He thinks his son is so perfrct but he is really a painnin the ass and i am always stuck taking care of him because his mom is not involved and I am also a sahm for our two young babies. I am so frustrwted. i wish he could see how annoying and arrogant his son is but he is the bio parent and i know he will always defend him.

oh and one last thing, i really hate being a step mom lol but i love my dh so much.

Ranting felt good lol.

Rhiannon's picture

If a teacher has said something.. getting screened wouldn't be a bad idea. If he doesn't have it, then the tests will prove it. If he does.. then he can be treated, and it'll only help him concentrate in school better.

I know there's this worry by many parents that their kid will be harmed by a diagnosis like ADHD or Dyslexia. But it's better to know for sure, than to ignore a potential problem. Just my two cents. Take it for what it's worth.

notsobad's picture

I simply don't understand parents who won't help their children.
If he does have ADHA or any other impairment why wouldn't you want to help your child? Why would you want to make their lives harder by denying that anything is wrong?
Once you know what's going on you can treat it and help them!

Makes no sense to me at all.

notsobad's picture

Refusing to medicate is not the same as refusing to treat or denying that the condition exists in the first place.

I don't believe all kids should be on drugs, there are many many ways to treat the alphabet soup of problems that kids are facing theses days. Nutrition and exercise are just a couple of examples.
However, if drugs are your choice or only option, be thankful that it's available to you.

What I don't understand is ignoring the fact that your child might have a problem at all.

Loxy's picture

As hard as it might be to have the conversation with your DH, you are essentially enabling the problem by avoiding it.

I would start the conversation by asking your DH how he sees your role – are you an equal parent in your household or the babysitter for SD? DH will almost certainly answer the former. At which time you share your concerns about SS and expectations on what needs to be done. If DH gets defensive and rejects your concerns then you know he sees you only as a babysitter and I would then tell him to get a new one as you refuse to look after a child that you have no say in parenting.

Being a step-parent sux enough as it is without being able to have any say over what happens in your house so be brave and have that conversation with DH. Good luck!