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What Would You Do?

itsmylifetoo's picture

I have been hanging around this spot for a few years...mostly reading and absorbing.

We moved out of state, away from GUBM, who has consistently threatened us, even 3,000 miles away with restraining orders. Telling the girls all the wacky lies and craziness she always has. She has almost successfully alienated the girls, not allowing contact on the phone to regain control of hubby, agreeing to let the kids visit then taking it back. We calculated last year that she has lied and cheated us out of 21,000 dollars in dropped contempt charges over five years.
Things came to a head last January when she chose to not disclose that hubbys youngest was dangerously aggressive with babies. Found youngest step daughter in the crib with new 4 month old crushing her ribs, youngest trying to rip baby out of seat, shove things in her mouth. GUBM, at end of visit states she forgot to tell us, but her own sister hasn't let BM visit her new baby yet because youngest so aggressive. I decided at that time that I wouldn't GUBM again, I felt, and I still do, like I might hit her for all of her behaviors.

itsmylifetoo's picture

Ahhh! It posted it and I can't figure out how to delete, so I'll have to add...

We are going to visit this summer, When I am involved BM gets worse and I get defensive. I have something going on that weekend with friends, and am pushing hubby to spend the weekend with the kids while I do my stuff. BM always has crazy drop off and pick up times and several conditions to visits, always interrupted and choppy. Kids have some activities they will have going on that house by can attend but BM will be there. I'd lie to watch the kids, but I'm over BM and have had boundaries up for years.

I feel conflicted because I want to be with hubby and the three girls together, his and our one together. I'm hating coming up to a visit because BMs illness just frustrates me. I tell myself that it's only the weekend, by the years of drama, back and forth, the abuse of the children, the lies. I don't keep people like that in my life, but have her in my life because hubby chose this person at one point.