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My stepson scares the crap out of me

I4gotit83's picture

So I met my soulmate, a man I feel I can't live without. He has full custody of his 2 sons. His oldest son has ADHD. His biological mother couldn't stand him and he ended up going into a mental institution for saying he was going to kill someone at school, he was put in a special school for children with behavior issues. His grandma came to help take care of him and left because she couldn't deal with him. My boyfriend soon re-married had another kid with that wife and she left because of his kids as well. When I first came into his life I was a strong caring loving person with a lot of patience. I was excited to be a part of his children's life, I knew the kids had issues and I was there to help and be there for them and love them. At first I was more a mother to his kids then my own, showing them how loved they where and how equal to my bio children they where. His oldest son the one with ADHD manipulates, lies lies lies lies lies lies, steals, blames other kids, if I touch this kid with my pinkie he will throw himself on the floor and start screaming hysterical like you beat him, he gets into thing he's not supposed, doesn't listen, does whatever he wants, breaks the other kids toys. I'm living hell, I'm to the point where I feel I have to decide to be miserable without my soulmate or miserable with this kid... my boyfriend downplays his behavior and thinks I overreact to somethings... everyday this kid does something wrong. Everyday. My boyfriend punishes him, nothing has helped. My boyfriend says that the kid has actually gotten a lot better then he used to, all I can think is omg he's been worse then this !!?? I don't want him around my kids at all. His middle child that we also have full custody has autism and I love that kid as my own. I have small fears he will be with us the rest of our lives but even that isn't bad. The older kid with the behavior issues told me during a fight with my boyfriend that he was going to kill me. He kicked me in the face when I was trying to punish him for breaking another one of the other kids toys. I just told my boyfriend I don't want the kid to call me mom anymore. And it broke his heart. I don't know what to do anymore. I have my kids that don't have behavior issues. Just normal kids. I had a dream tonight this kid came into my room and started stabbing me woke up crying, my anxiety is through the roof. Not sure what to do anymore but cry. Sad

Mummy to 4's picture

Hello, I'm new here and having similar issues in a way, but my partner and I are done. I won't have his son around my daughter anymore as she is innocent and needs protecting. Sounds like your kids do also. Just my opinion. I know it's hard but life should not be this hard because of others mistakes. I wish you all the best.

Mummy to 4's picture

No, he's leaving but his son isn't allowed to see our daughter anymore so he doesn't come over. It's too much for any one person to take.

Disneyfan's picture

Where is your children's father? If you aren't willing to walk away from your "soul mate", then give the kids to your ex. Your kids should not be stuck living in hell simply because you don't want to lose this man.

You can stay and live in that house of horrors, but don't force your children to do the same.

hereiam's picture

Not only is this no way for you to live, it is not the life you should be subjecting your kids to.

Learn to be complete and happy, with and by yourself (and your kids), you will meet someone else.

As far as him being your "soulmate", people can have more than one soulmate (which is why it's not really a thing), not to mention, if he really was your soulmate, this wouldn't be so hard and trying, and you wouldn't be miserable. He doesn't even seem to care what YOU are going through or how this is affecting you, he just accuses you of overreacting.

He downplays the behavior because he wants to convince you that it's not that bad, so that you will stay. He doesn't want to deal with his kids by himself.

Seriously, let him deal with these kids by himself. Do it for YOUR kids, if nothing else.

robin333's picture

Why are you still there subjecting your kids to this? I'm not for just throwing in the towel but I'm also more for protecting kids and raising them in a healthy environment.

Trust me, you are complete by yourself. And you will survive not living with this man. Show your kids what a strong woman you are and that you value their safety and wellbeing over a man.

Harry's picture

So you think you are better then, BM, BGM! first SM. Where all three of them could not handle it, but you could.
I am sorry toy got involved with this. Some chrildren can not be saved. Just a sad fact

thinkthrice's picture

RUN!!!!

Divamom's picture

Hello all, I'm actually here cause I'm looking for help too, on this particular case I would say run away , you'll be better with your kids and just you than taking care of someone else's kids, that's like living in hell, nobody deserves that kind of life, you don't have to deal with others' mistakes, let them deal with it, you and your kids deserve to be happy, you are still on time, PLEASE BE HAPPY!

Divamom's picture

You deserve to be happy, don't deal with others's mistakes, Please be happy even though that implicates leaving your marriage, that's hell