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How to make SS16 do not leave with us

2016ov's picture

Hi everyone,
Thank you for your time to read and your advice. Situation... Bio parents do not communicate with each other and blame others for trouble teen. DH is out of town, and we do not know how long it can be. SS is 50/50 in our house each T & Th and every other F, Sat, Sun. I tried to take care of him as family member equally (married seven years). However, due to personality he selfish and troublemaker (lies, still, makes stress, do not have friends, spend 99% of the time at home, after school). We have our kids 5y.o and 1y.o. BM do not try to have him even the extra minute. DH do not believe or want go to court to change schedule (had experienced before, waste money on lawyer no result... he tried before we meet each other).
The end of February SS commits situation to involved police because he refused to walk home (that is usual he do) make a false statement about legs hurt.(posted before https://www.steptalk.org/node/236225) so far nobody contacted me or DH.
I even tried last year communicate with BM and almost got agreed for SS go to boarding school, but somehow after months communication no result.

Questions: Do you know a legal way how to make him live with BM (if she does not even show interest, to have her son) ... I want to protect myself, and my kids do not see that "model" of trouble child."

Or any experience you had.

PS. I tried to waste our time with DH to manage that teen to and always stress out then SS near. Instead to raise my kids in a normal environment.
Thank you for sharing your experience

Bottom line:
BM do not want him; we do not know how SS acts there, Do not try to communicate, Has BF for last 14 years ask SS named him as Dad... do not has their kids. Should have extra 18 days per year. Last three years do not take them... ignoring.

DH do not believe if we go to court we can get what we want, always arguments about SS and situation...
Me sick of that and not sure if I can handle that until he became 18y.o.

2016ov's picture

I thought about it. By if DH is not here and he still should be with DH (right now with us) not with his BM during those days based on pp. its not changes. If DH going have a job here he gonna manage him or live with him separately. Did you know any live-in caregivers to sign to him?

nengooseus's picture

This is an issue with your husband. If you don't want the child in your house while DH is away, he needs to make that happen or you all need to handle the situation as a marriage issue.

2016ov's picture

This is what happened... so tried... they just fine with that and do not want to take care of him ... I have lots of stuff to do with youngest.

DH upset because I sick of it and he is trying to smooth it, wasting his time hour of conversation with not much improvements..

notsobad's picture

Didn't you post about this before?
I'm sure the advice isn't going to change.

You don't have to watch him, DH has to figure it out with his ex.
Move to wherever it is that DH is working.

Acratopotes's picture

If SS comes to your house call CPS and inform them, you have a troubled teen disrupting your house and you are not the parent. They have to remove him from your house,

Or call the police...

This is not your child, you do not have to take responsibility