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Stepdaughter from hell

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Mon, 10/17/2016 - 5:29pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

I am new to this site but so glad I found it!! I am happily married to a fantastic man who has 2 kids from a previous marriage. We have been together for 9 years now and his kids were 6 and 3. In the beginning it was alright, the kids seemed to like me and vice versa, however, the BM got jealous of this and starting telling the kids not to like me or give me grief when they were at our house. She went as far as saying "Dad has a new family now" Now the kids are older and hate me. SD texted me this and said that her life is horrible because I am in it and called me a princess. Grrrrr I absolutely cannot stand to be around her now or even see her picture. Her father parents out of guilt and will not say anything to her so as far as I am concerned he has taught them in the past few years that it is ok to be rude to me.

Thoughts?

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Tue, 10/18/2016 - 12:46am

I definitely called her out on her rudeness towards me and her response was you're not my mother and I don't have to be nice to you. I'm the add on, her mother and her were first so I'm simply second. She's a 15 year old who is nothing less than a spoiled brat and as for my husband, he is scared she'll hate him and she threatened suicide so he doesn't say anything to her. She knows how to play the game. Frustration at it's best!!

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Tue, 10/18/2016 - 12:53am

I

absolutely agree he is to blame where his daughter is concerned. All she has to do is shed a couple fake tears and he caves instantly. It's pathetic because I feel he's definitely setting her up for failure because seriously what man in their right mind wants a spoiled princess for a wife. He does defend me to anyone else that is rude just not her.Scared men grrrr

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Tue, 10/18/2016 - 2:12am

Yup nothing new in this situation, Hon disengage, block SD and her sib from contacting you, and BM. These are not your people, they have no reason to contact you, they can contact DH...

Then simply disengage from the skids, not your kids and not your problem.

If SD ever accuses you of being a princess again, laugh an evil laugh and say - no little girl, I'm the effing queen..

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Tue, 10/18/2016 - 10:39am

You have to do this to get daddeeeee focused back on the real problem, and more importantly, to give you the peace in your life you deserve. As she ages, the problem only intensifies, so hone your strategy now; just saying.

islandhell's picture

Submitted by islandhell on Tue, 10/18/2016 - 7:39am

Welcome! I found this site a couple weeks ago and sure wish I'd put some effort into finding it earlier. This is the only place I can tell the truth, vent, and get advice that is not sugar coated. This site is saving me from losing my mind.

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Thu, 10/20/2016 - 3:45pm

Thanks Smile I have taken your advice, changed my cell number and have told DH not to give it out to anyone. I took SD off my FB cause seriously want to treat me like garbage, don't get see anything I post. Yup not my problem, my kids are awesome!!!

This site will probably save me from jail time Dirol

Superstepper's picture

Submitted by Superstepper on Fri, 10/21/2016 - 9:29pm

My hubby is similar, I am forced to wear the pants. Here's how I deal. I call out rudeness and take up for myself (teenage skids love engaging step patents I've learned) then I take mental notes. I don't forget. At holidays and special trips I'll collect my mental notes and act accordingly. Maybe if you weren't an a$$hole you'd received stuff you actually wanted and been invited to go places with us because oh yeah, I'm in charge of all that stuff too!!!

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Sat, 10/22/2016 - 4:46pm

Biggrin That's awesome!! Good advice!! Although I have called out the rudeness and all I get is eye rolls, your not my mother, well no shit princess, my kids don't act like that.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/23/2016 - 2:25pm

"I am happily married to a fantastic man" :O :O :O :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

Bullshit! You are married to a ball-less man who is an abject failure waste of skin parent.

It never ceases to amaze me when people maintain the self delusion that they are married to an amazing partner who can't parent their way out of a wet paper bag.

If your DH was a worth a shit daddy he would jerk a knot in his toxic spawn's tail for just this kind of toxic crap .... "SD texted me this and said that her life is horrible because I am in it and called me a princess."

If your DH was a truly fantastic husband and man he would not tolerate his toxic spawn pulling this kind of crap with his bride and for sure he would not tolerate his XW PASing his children with crap like "Dad has a new family now". No... dad does not have a new family. He has an expanded family and a new wife.

Your DH needs to find his man sack, grab a hand full of giggle berries, man up, give his spawn absolute clarity that she will not speak to his bride in any way other than with respect and he will for sure bring the pain down on his XW like a ton of shit in a 10lb sack by dragging her PASing ass in front of a Judge.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck.

SickofIt2's picture

Submitted by SickofIt2 on Thu, 10/27/2016 - 1:33pm

Don't allow anyone to be disrespectful to you - EVER! That isn't a matter of skid disengagement. That is a matter of self-respect and doing what is right. If skid is rude to you, stand up for yourself. If DH allows it or enables it, you need to rethink your relationship.

I'm "disengaged" from SDs but I would most certainly step up and give them a piece of my mind and tell my DH to take them out of my house if they were rude and disrespectful toward me. I would expect him to do the same if I allowed by BS to act that way.

Icy's picture

Submitted by Icy on Thu, 10/27/2016 - 7:41pm

I cannot imagine my husband allowing his children to communicate with me like that. My husband had purchased a car a while back to work on with my youngest stepson that was to be his after he got his drivers license. Shortly after we were married, my stepson was rude to me. I had asked him politely to do something rather minor,and he said, "Do it yourself.". My husband SOLD THAT CAR the very next day. My stepson later apologized and we had a little talk about basic respect for each other. He never spoke to me like that again. I am essentially disengaged from my step kids, but not in a bad way, just a way that allows dad, and dad only,to parent. I could not be with someone that allowed their children to abuse me verbally or via text.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Fri, 11/04/2016 - 10:31am

"Sold the car the next day..." Oh, my, I love this story. Ahhhhhh.....

frustrated67's picture

Submitted by frustrated67 on Fri, 10/28/2016 - 12:52am

What I meant by a fantastic husband is just that, great husband, lousy father. He parents his son really good, it's the "princess" he doesn't have a clue with, makes me shake my head. Oh he gives her shit sort of and tells her not to be rude to me, she lies to his face and says ok. She is a brat simply because her two parents or should I say, friends, don't have a fricken clue how to stand up to her. I'm working on him because I told him, she either smartens the hell up or we are finished, make your choice, become the father she does need or lose the wife. I also told him that if you continue to allow her bullshit behavior, you will be alone for the rest of your life because she will make sure of it. So I have blocked her from contacting me in any way shape or form because she has no reason ever to talk, text or call me, I am not her parent nor would I ever want to be. She wouldn't act like this if I was that is for sure!!
So we shall see what is going to happen now.