The Aunt of my step kids
Hi I'm a stepmom of 2 ages 9&11 girls. My husband has 2 sisters, one he's very close with and one he doesnt get along with...the one he doesn't get along with lives in another state. He says they were never close and always argued. Anyway he's been broken up with his mother of his kids for 8 years now and even though his sister lives in another state she visits 3-4x a year and gets the kids from their mom. She use to treat the kids mom very poorly as my husband and the kids mom have both told me. The kids mom tells me she doesn't care if my husbands mean sister doesn't like her and wants her to have a relationship with the kids so she let's her take the kids when she visits. This annoys my husband and he doesn't want his sister to get the kids as he thinks shes a bad influence. I personally think it's odd to continue to have relationships with kids when u don't even like either of their parents. The kids have asked why we don't have her over and we just say we don't get along and leave it at that. We don't want to stress them our w adult issues. Is it just me who thinks it's odd for an aunt to visit the kids or the mom to let her take them? For me as long as the aunt doesn't talk badly about us I don't care but if it were my kids i prob wouldn't let someone who treats me badly take my kids. Just curious on opinions...
Anything that upsets my
Anything that upsets my husband bothers me too. I know this is a website full of different family dynamics and step families so I was curious of others opinions that's all. And kids tell us everything. ...like don't bother ever telling them a secret lol and she hasn't spoken bad..well yet anyway
We disagree too. It's normal
We disagree too. It's normal , no 2 people can possibly agree on everything. Oh I know the girls manI plate and we have caught them in many lies to get what they want but I honestly don't think they would be ok with anyone talking bad about their mom or dad. I really don't but all kids are different. It is what it is. I was just thinking how odd it is for an aunt to go get kids that arnt hers when she visits and doesn't even like their parents. Odd.
That's funny you say that
That's funny you say that because I was just thinking how when maybe they are 14-15 and are close with their parents they may not want to trust in amother family member or spend time with an aunt who doesn't like their own parents.
Oh I know. I did it to my
Oh I know. I did it to my parents as well. We already see the pull somewhat...always wanting play dates no more cuddly alone time w us anymore. They are growing up:(
When we somewhat got along
When we somewhat got along aboUT 3 years ago, my husbands mom and sister would invite us over and completely undermine my husbands wishes (his mom and sister would basically let the kids do whatever), and act like they were the parents. I put an end to that shortly after lol...This makes sense.
Yes, it is odd. I don't let
Yes, it is odd. I don't let anyone spend time with my kids that I think use to mistreat them (and could potentially continue to) or if I had an antagonistic relationship with them and didn't have to let the kids spend time with them. So yes, it is strange.
This is really no different
This is really no different than if your DH's sister was instead BM's sister. She doesn't have to 'like' and/or get along with your DH.
Would you make your sister or mother or whoever stop seeing the skids because BM rejects to the kids doing so? Nope. You'd tell BM to shove it and get over herself.
The adult crap shouldn't be pushed upon the kids. This woman lives far away and doesn't bother you or DH. The kids really shouldn't know of any existing feud between their Dad and Aunt. I doubt she picks up the kids from BM's for a fun kiddie day activity and then spends the afternoon trash talking her brother. You don't sit around and trash talk the aunt to the kids (I hope and assume not). Why would she feel a need to waste her outing discussing how she thinks her brother, who happens to be their father, to them.
Bad influence? I'll also assume Aunt isn't taking the kids out to the bar drinking or doing drugs around them. Your husband lost the ability to control 24/7 365 when he and BM parted. Unless you are willing to let BM send you a list of who her kids can associate with and who not along with when and how , you best advise DH to let it go.
Right and it's not like we
Right and it's not like we are loosing sleep over it, I was just curious what other steps on here would say, that's all. The fact that the aunt was so terrible to the kids mom for many years and the kids mom let's the kids go see her on her time is a bit odd too.
And our situation is a tad different than most exs I think. Like we all talk and truly try to keep in mind everyone's feelings and thoughts. Bm says she thinks we will all make up then everyone will hate her so she doesn't get inbolted
Involved * lol
Involved * lol