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Am I wrong???

smurfy1smile's picture

BF has a temp order that says he gets BS EOW (Friday @ 5pm until Monday morning when baby is to be dropped off at daycare 60 miles one-way away)and every Thursday. I have beem doing all the driving on Fridays and Mondays for the past 8 weeks since I have not been working much. I got a job last week that I started today that is M-F 8am to noon so I can no longer drive his son to daycare on Monday mornings. I forwarned (reminded) BF that this could happen and if I got a job where I had to work mornings or even 8 to 5pm he would have to work it out with BM whether FSS1 went home on Sunday or BF takes him to daycare on Monday. BF works 8 to 5 M-F for a small company so I see no reason he could not go in later EO Monday. For those who don't know, I was laid off in mid-November and have been doing taxes for about a month but that is only seasonal.

Here's my thing - BF thinks I am skimming my responsibility since I can no longer drive his child to daycare on Monday. I have to remind BF that this child is not my responsibility (big issue with us) but he says stuff like "I had to put up with your kids all day" - when I work weekends which has only been the past 4 weeks and out of those I have worked maybe half of those weekends. The big difference being that the other kids (17, 13, & Dirol are old enough to feed and cloth and wipe themselves and FSS1 is not. I am more than willing to pick FSS1 up EO Friday but my schedule no longer allows for Mondays too. BF has drivin our daughter and mine to church twice in the last year and never done any other driving regarding my kids or our daughter. BF just does not want to deal with BM and I am not going to do it for him. I am so tired of doing most of the work regarding FSS1. I have told BF time and time again that FSS1 is not my responsibility but I more than happy to help out doing things like buying diapers, wipes, baby food, pack the diaper bag, etc. I even bought (with my money) a crib and bedding since I think it will be much better during the custody evaluation if FSS1 has his own bed and space for his stuff which he does.

UGH! How do I deal with this without this turning into a huge fight? BF and I have argued about the resposibility of FSS1 many times and it has gotten to the point that I have basically given up and I do almost all the work because I don't want to fight with BF. I am getting resentful. It was so bad one weekend BF tryed to kick me and my kids out of the house. BF cannot afford the house without me.

A good friend of mine suggested that the older kids and I leave for a weekend when FSS1 is there and leave BF to care for him on his own and then maybe he will see how much work it really is and he may appreciate me more. It is very tempting and I have been trying to make it happen, unknown to BF. I am hoping for sooner than later. It can't just be for the day since if I am gone for the day as soon as I walk in the door I am "on duty" and just have to do all the work anyway.

HELP!!!!!

Comments

smurfy1smile's picture

He is not kidding. I don't think he used the word skimming but something like that.

sparky's picture

"It was so bad one weekend BF tryed to kick me and my kids out of the house." You need to discontinue this relationship and why would you have a custody evaluation for a child that the father is not going to help you take care of?

Sia's picture

the others, FSS is NOT your responsibility now or ever for that matter! NO way I'd be doing that unless I wanted to...I would NOT be guilted into it!

stepmom2one's picture

My H constantly says "she is your daughter too" it is his favorite line. HELLO she is not my child!! Us getting married means I am her STEP mother!!

I drop my SD off at school EO Monday morning before I take my BS to MILs, then drive myself to school. Well in less than 2 months I will be graduating college and having our 2nd child. I told H that I will not be getting up a 1 wk old and 2 1/2 yr old at 7 am to take SD to school. He says "oh yes you are" WTF!! No way! Not happening, my SD is going to be 10 years in a couple of months. And we live about 4 blocks from school, so there is no reason she can not walk her butt to school like the other kids that live near by. SD wants to so badly, and it would be easier on all of us if she did. I told H he can miss 3 hours of work EO Monday if he wants to drive her...he refuses. Good luck on your case, I certainly need some for myself too.