I'm new here but would like some advice about a 14 (nearly 15) year old SD, I have no children of my own. I've been with my partner for 7 years and have always played an active role in SDs life, dealing with the normal ups & downs. When SD has her period I've always asked her to let me know about leaking into clothes so that I can rinse them instead of going into the wash bag to be found 2 days later. SD didn't like this so I showed her how to rinse them herself and put them in the washing machine for me, SD didn't like this either so told her BM. It then came back that what I'd asked her to do has reminded her BM of her terrible upbringing which I'm gutted about after all these years, I had a normal upbringing and did this. BM demanded she take her soiled underwear home which she now does but I have asked SD to tell me if other clothing/bedding is soiled so I can put it straight in the wash...SD doesn't feel she should have to do this either and has again reported back to BM. I've now had a conversation with BM about this issue and have been asked why I have such a problem with doing SD's washing - I don't have a problem, why I can't communicate with my SD - it's never been a problem and I feel I have communicated with her on this subject many times, and why I have mentioned it front of SD's Dad - this I have done as a last resort as she won't do as asked. A lot of things I just put down to being a teenager but this is really getting to me, I feel like when SD is asked to do something now she is getting into a pattern of telling her BM we're being mean to her. My OH agrees with me and has told his DDs BM that at nearly 15 she's old enough to learn these things. I'm uncomfortable around my SD in my own home as it all feels very manipulative, it is starting to effect my relationship with her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I feel like I'm losing my sanity, dreading my SDs time of the month and feeling like the wicked stepmother.