What do I do?
I asked SD if she had any washing - she said it's on her bed - she ran out of time and could I grab it - she was on her way out the door with OH so I just said ok.
Just went up to grab it.
There is her diary, conveniently open at the page last month where ss faux punched dd in the face and OH and I had a fight and I left.
Her entry says - with big hearts and happy face borders - "dad had a big fight with the bitch and she packed up and left - yay yay - best day EVER!!!!!"
This was SO left out for me to see.
What do I do? How do I handle this little bitch.
My first thought is to be ALL over him ALL night when they get home and send them to bed early so we can have "couple time"
I need some rational answers as I am shaking I am so angry at this little snot.
- luchay's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Like button! Good one!
Like button! Good one!
You could do her wash and the
You could do her wash and the diary could 'accidentally get washed too. Of course this would be the last time ever you do her wash.
Or you could write "the bitch is back...yah yah yah". In her diary. Don't sign it of course. If she freaks then deny you did it...she must have wrote it ...it is her diary...yadda yadda.
Of course don't do the wash ever again.
Or find that song...the bitch is back by Elton John and play or sing it loudly all the time. Embrace your inner bitch.
Song lyrics....
I was justified when I was five
Raising Cain, I spit in your eye
Times are changing, now the poor get fat
But the fever's gonna catch you when the bitch gets back
Eat meat on Friday that's alright
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do's
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue
I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do
I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don't like those, my God, what's that
Oh it's full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back
I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do
I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
You know I'm back
You know I'm back
Oh, the bitch is back
Oh yeah
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/elton-john/the-bitch-is-back-lyrics/#GGMf6Y3u4...
Needed the laughs ladies
Needed the laughs ladies thanks.
I wrote way further on ding dong the witch is back.
Will never do her wash again.
And will be extra loving as planned all over him like a rash.
Cant wait to read her next entry....
I may just be passive
I may just be passive aggressive, but my only option would be:
"oh snap SD, I'm SOOOOOOO Sorry, I completely forgot to grab your clothes to wash! I just got so caught up in ABC with your dad and the fun things we were doing I completely forgot! Please forgive me. I think the washer is empty now if you want to start your load of clothes."
}:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) }:)
She wants to play that gave with you,... you do not HAVE to do her wash for her. If she is old enough to use that language to you she is old enough to do her own wash!
I would tell her the truth
I would tell her the truth and say from now on I will do nothing for you. I think i'd have a hard time allowing a person into my home that hated me that much. the girl would not exist for me anymore.
I would call her out on it in
I would call her out on it in front of her dad. Show it to him in black n white. I would not be doing wash or anything else for her.
I think the ignores have an excellent point but I know I'd never be able to do it.
^^^ This. And make sure to
^^^ This.
And make sure to mention that since she hates you sooo much and does not want you around her you will make SOME concessions to minimize the amount of time she is "forced" to be in your presence.
1) You will not wake her up any morning for school/activities etc.
2) You will not be taking meals with her. Or cooking for her. And since it is your house and you CHOOSE to sit at the table she will have to take her plate of whatever she makes herself and go to another room to eat.
3) There will be no laundry done for her.
4) You will not be buying her anything, if she needs something she needs to ask her father.
5) You will not be driving her anywhere. Ever. (Miss the bus? Walk... )
6) Since she hates you and you bought x,y,z that is in her room, you will be removing those items from her room so she is not reminded of you every time she sees said items.
Add to the list as you see fit.
I actually agree with you on
I actually agree with you on this. You all feel the same way about your stepchildren as they do you. Feelings are mutual so no need to get all offended by it.
OK, that's not how I
OK, that's not how I interpreted Mairin's post but different strokes and all that.
I do take exception to your statement that "you all feel the same way about your stepchildren as they do you"
I put fucking everything I have into building a relationship with this kid, right from day one. I have tried and tried despite what a shitty little bitch she is to me. I did NOT feel the same way about her for a very long time, my feelings towards her have grown to be what they are BECAUSE she has been such a nasty little cow from day one. I have put up with her stealing, lying, manipulating, and being downright nasty to me and to my dd's. Her father has given her a free pass to do this for two years now and I have reached my limit. So yes I now dislike her intensely, but it is NOT the same as her animosity towards me, which is undeserved.
Ok, so your plan to endear
Ok, so your plan to endear yourself to her didn't work. Consider it an honorable but failed mission. No matter who was rebuffed first, in the end your feelings are mutual.
I am not disagreeing about
I am not disagreeing about anything with either one of you. It is a fact that your feelings for your stepchildren are not what they used to be. Now how do you move forward knowing that your stepchildren will never bond with you and you will never feel kindly towards them? This is not how you planned it or wanted it to be. But it's your new reality. So what is next? Keep playing games with each other until one wins the man? Sounds exhausting.
I am just trying to figure
I am just trying to figure out what part of my statement is untrue. Why did OP take exception to "you all feel the same way about your stepchildren as they do you" ? Good intentions aside, the facts are the same.
I agree with your "why do these stupid bitches think we care. . ."? We're both the saying the same thing, yet it sounds wrong when I say it doesn't it?
That right! You don't give a
That right! You don't give a damn. The step kids don't give a damn! So OP needs to quit giving a damn about her SD not giving a damn.
Maybe SD thinks that it's SM
Maybe SD thinks that it's SM is being an asshole with her fees fees. Maybe SD feels like it's her home that she's protecting. I'm not saying it's right at all, but this could make for some confusion. That's where DH has to come in and straighten things out.
Again, I feel like so often I am speaking in generalities and you internalize it with your own situation. I don't even know your situation as you have pointed out time and time again. So, you really don't need to be so jumpy with me.
I replied to agree with you.
I replied to agree with you. You didn't really like that so I won't make the mistake again.
And technically speaking, you're not even a stepparent anymore either.
Ahhhh but you see it is NOT
Ahhhh but you see it is NOT SD's home.
Never was, never will be.
It COULD have been her second home, but she didn't want that and I for one will not be going out of my way to make her feel it now.
I am not sure who you are or why you are here but I read nothing constructive or even just ventful and bitchy (which actually does help get those nasty fee fees out in a healthier way than grabbing the bitch by the hair and throwing her bodily from my home would
)
So, this is my last comment to you.
You obviously have no clue, so you shall henceforth be ignored, Mairin - not worth the bother honey.
Meh - my guess is she's a
Meh - my guess is she's a "put upon and abused SD or BM" coming here to make us all understand why we are all wrong or some crap. Whatever.
Enough shitty people in my world I am sure as heck not going to take advice from another one!!!
Duplicate
Duplicate
I put up with rude nasty
I put up with rude nasty behaviour for many years! I finally said no more, and NO I did not dislike my SD's right from the start. I truly cared about them for a long time before I got the hate memo from them.
Feelings may be mutual now, but only after years of emotional abuse and disrespect by my SD.
Maybe you can wait until DH
Maybe you can wait until DH is home again. Then say, "oh, I completely forgot about SD's laundry! DH, will you grab it off her bed while I start the washer?"
I agree with the others about
I agree with the others about not letting her have the satisfaction of knowing that you saw it, and pretending you forgot to get her clothes. Then be all over your DH!
Otherwise, I love Hollow's idea. }:)
Ignore the diary. To do
Ignore the diary. To do anything else is to lower yourself to the games of a child. It doesn't matter what she wrote, so next time don't even look. She's an immature, confused, self-involved girl attempting to manipulate the situation. So don't let her succeed. Telling her Dad will achieve nothing, except perhaps friction between the two of you. He can't make her like you, he can make her do her chores and not be rude to you.
I appreciate all the
Especially needed the funny and OTT ones, the things we would LOVE to do but won't.
Didn't do her washing, left it on the bed next to the diary. I did write - in about October - Ding Dong the witch is back. She won't find it for so long that it will be a WTF moment when she does, petty and stooping to her level I know, but I NEEDED to do something. I have continued for over two years being nice, buying her stuff, attempting to engage her, just ignoring the BS - the lying the stealing the nasty stuff she says about me ALL the time.
They got home two hours late last night, and I was PISSED. (see forum entry in general stuff for reasons) So, I left him to feed them (himself, the two skids and dd8) and took a bubble bath and had a few drinks. Was lovely. Then when they had finished eating I emerged fresh and happy from my bath. Of course Madam was curled up in MY spot on the sofa snuggled next to Daddy. I just walked in and looked at her and she scurried out of my spot. I whispered "wise move" as she went past me.... she didn't quite hear but she knew I said something.
We watched movies, OH and I snuggled and kissed and talked quietly to each other - she kept asking what we were talking about. I totally ignored her. Just continued flirting with my OH and watching the movie. He was getting a bit pissed that every time I muttered a sweet nothing or he did she'd screech "WHAAATTTT????"
}:)
Ok, I KNOW it's petty and childish and passive aggressive and I don't like stooping to this stuff, but I NEED to take back some power in my house.
I didn't do her washing. I would LOVE to say SD you are responsible for doing your own stuff from now on but OH will not allow that - and by that I don't mean he won't allow me to stop - but that he won't allow Princess Bitchface to have to do anything - he would do it for her. Which I know you will all say let him, and I could, but it's just adding to the divide between the two families - the divide I am trying to remove as much as possible. HE is my partner for life, WE have our things we do around here, and for me to do just for mine while he does for his. For me to spend time just with mine while he is just with his. That's NOT the family I want.
I will be putting this all to him at our next counselling. I don't want this divided family shit and I will not settle for it. He changes what needs changing or I walk away.
As far as telling him about the diary - no. What's the point? I have not given her the satisfaction of knowing I saw it, or him the hurt of seeing his daughter in action *yet again, and of being forced to defend her which is his usual MO.
NO, I will change how *I* deal with her, I have (due to past behaviours) already stripped her room of everything that I bought for her. I had just bought her a pack of make-up remover wipes as she has been sleeping with her make-up on all night. Just a little thing, but it's gone now too. Nothing said, just removed.
Your opinion obviously
Your opinion obviously differs from mine but I think that spouses who share household chores have a BETTER marriage - not a more split marriage.
Was scratching my head for
Was scratching my head for about 5 minutes trying to figure out where I said anything about household chores!!!!
LMAO -
I finally figured it out. Blonde moment.
Ok - no I 100% agree with you - spouses who SHARE household chores DO absolutely have better marriages.
What we would be talking about though is OH doing the washing/cooking/cleaning just for his while I do just for mine - and THAT I feel is divisive?
Normally our chores are split.
He works longer hours than me, so I shop and do probably 90% of the internal cleaning, he does most of the yard maintenance; I cook 9 days a fortnight and he cleans up and he cooks 5 days and I clean up. I do most of the washing (because I am picky) but he does help hang and bring it in.
I don't object to us sharing the load, I object to him seeing only to his and me only to mine.
Hope that clears it up