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Inappropriate sexual contact...

seekinghealth's picture

HELP!!! My 15 year old SS exposed himself and touched my 11 year old. This happened a couple of months ago but we just found out. My husband and I fell apart and I left with my children until it could be sorted out and a plan of action taken. I was EXTREMELY angry as I was living in hotels with my kids while the perpetrator was comfortable with his father at home. Both my husband and I called CPS and our therapist while we tried to cope and get through the crisis. I was extra bitter as I had seen that my SS has real problems with self-indulgence, social skills, and normal boundaries. In fact, his father and I were in conflict about it and I began to leave the home whenever my SS came to visit. This family has a history of ignoring issues and blaming everyone in their vicinity for their poor choices. As a mother, I understand protecting our kids but not at the expense of injuring others. My SS needs HELP and will now be to get it as will his parents be forced to FINALLY allow him to be responsible for his actions. My marriage is likely over as am not sure we can get past this. My husbands kids are making him "choose" to stay with me or have a relationship with them. HAS ANYONE EXPERIENCED A SIMILAR SITUATION???? And if so, what was the outcome? Sad

seekinghealth's picture

sad...

ctnmom's picture

OF COURSE YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER THE ONLY WAY YOUR 11 YEAR OLD WILL HEAL IS TO BE VALIDATED AND NEVER,EVER HAVE TO SEE HER MOLESTER AGAIN. I think I'm going to have to quit Step Talk- it's seriously making me hate other women! I mean, wtf? Is this post even serious?

seekinghealth's picture

Why would you hate women for reaching out for validation and support? I have done ALL the right things in a traumatic and painful circumstance.

ctnmom's picture

As long as you daughter never EVER has to see her molester again. And I'm sure seeing her molester's family would be a trigger for her. So I guess my anger comes from the thought that you're even reaching out at all, sorry. It's a no brainer- get your child away from these people and never look back. In fact, if my child was molested by someone that I had allowed in my home, I wouldn't even have access to the internet because I'd be sitting in jail for either assault or murder.

seekinghealth's picture

My "reaching out" is not for advise on WHAT to do, I ALREADY have done those things. I am reaching our for comfort and support in the midst of of a HORRIFIC STORM. I hope this experience will help me reach out to someone else one day. There are no easy answers or instant recovery and healing in this scenario.

seekinghealth's picture

Thank you for rational confirmation. The whole experience is ugly and traumatic at best. My husband did call CPS himself which was a huge feat according to my therapists. There is no "good" in any of this except perhaps identifying SS issues do no (or fewer) other children get hurt.

seekinghealth's picture

Amen.

Rags's picture

I concur with the others who have counseled you to stay in the home and put DH and his molester spawn out. Usually these kinds of things just escalate and I tend to be one to say you write of the tragic and evil person to protect the innocents they target and victimize.

I am sticking with that perspective in my opinion on your situation.

SS needs help but more importantly he needs to never be allowed near another younger child again. Ever. 15 is old enough to understand right from wrong and whether or not he has a psycholigical issue or not, he made a choice. He needs to be on the preditor list and kids need to be protected from him.

Take care of yourself and your kids.

Sincerely,