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fed up of teen SS ruined my graduation

smurf99's picture

So fed up up of 16yr old ss. Was my uni graduation last week. BM decided he needed to go there to watch her cat while she worked. DH explained he would be able to go in the evening but ss was busy in the day ( i didnt want her to know she knows enough about our life as it is). she then changed her mind a couple of times about him going. Upshot was morning of graduation no contact, asked dh to switch his phone off, as soon as ceremony over shes ringing, texting etc. All ss talked about all day was how he needed to get back to watch the cat, then proceeded to moan through the meal about an xbox game he loaned someone and how he needed to get back home asap to get it and mum this mum that etc.

Reult - me and dh end up argueing and came home feeling like shit. SS big smile on face seriously pissed off, everytime they ruin stuff or interference from bm , its grinding me down. DH said it was my fault we should have told her where we were then she wouldnt have kept ringing to try and arrange ss going there, and how the kids come first etc!!! WTF ive no privacy and it wasnt even a contact day. SS didnt have to come, he was given the option, he chose to come and sulked all day pissed off, i said to ss nice one another arguement caused, he looked at me and said "what have i done???!!!

smurf99's picture

your probly right, i should have said we can have this conversation later right now its my graduation meal, but dh just sits there, im left to deal with it, i look like the bad guy. He is oblivious and i feel doesnt care about anything thats important to me. Dh lets him get away with this shit regularly, tried to disengage but its sooo hard, ive told him next time hes not coming to anything of importance to me. Jesus putting boundaries around dh is often harder than his kids!! lol

smurf99's picture

i actually think hes jealous of mine and dh relationship. Lately ive realised any rows we have are usually instigated by him and hes a compulsive liar and manipulator.

Rags's picture

If SS was with you at your graduation and was being a PITA then he should have been sent to sit by himself in the car.

I have zero tolerance for blended family opposition interference in our lives and I have zero tolerance for illbehaved older Skids.

The fact that your DH aparently did nothing is far more alarming to me than a snarky shit of a Skid.

smurf99's picture

yep it alarms me too, skids can do no wrong, as his values i think differ to mine, still really cheesed off with ss about this.

smurf99's picture

ive just done a grad dip in mental health lol how ironic! seriously i can deal with mental health patients all day but come home to this shit and can explode!! The stress is unbelievable. I know deep down im misdirecting and its a parenting problem but DH thinks its my problem. He thinks im being too sensitive but SD 8 has told me ss16 hates me and he calls me mean things to BM. He is worse than a 6 yr old for playing people off against each other.

DH started cousnselling and have had 3 appointments, he communicates like a child, and paraphrases things ive said in the past (beginning to realise where ss16 picks his shit up from). Im losing all respect for him completely, he thinks hes a great dad as he took on his kids after bm virtually abandoned them but really he does the bear minimum , and is a lazy parent. Dont think it will be long until im walking out the door to be honest!!