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Disrespect

ShaybayB's picture

Submitted by ShaybayB on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 1:33am

Forums: 
Teenage Stepchildren

First off I have a daughter 21 years old. About 4 years I reconnected with her father who wasn't in her life for most of her life. While he was absent in her life he had a boy who will be 17  in Sept so that means he was 13 when we got back together. When this boy came a round he was smoking weed, cursing like a sailor and I even had to tell him not to his dad a certain way. I mean really disrespectful. He didn't want to go to school he refused to this day to do chores after I told him several times to do them . He still smokes weed in my house. I mean I feel like I'm being disrespected on a daily basis and his father doesn't say or do anything. I really really had it. I can honestly say I hate this boy. I've never had problems with children..not my daughter, her friends or my nieces and nephews l. I don't know what to do. He won't be an adult until for another year so I can't just make him leave. It's making me feel like the  relationship with his father is not even worth it. I need some advise, help.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 3:01am

I get the impression that you all live in your house rather than your boyfriend's house?  If so, your house, your rules and you can tell him that he will be no longer welcome there if he smokes weed in it.  Your boyfriend sounds totally ineffectual and this does not bode well for the future of your relationship.  Do you really want to be with someone who allows his almost-adult son to disrespect you both and flout your house rules?   Personally I would ask them both to move out and maybe continue to see your boyfriend but not live together.  I wonder how your daughter gets on with her long lost father? 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 4:26am

A man who abandons his daughter and has another child doesn't teach said child respect, you say? Color me shocked.

I'm not sure what makes your BF appealing since I don't think I could shake him having abandoned our mutual child. Him being a crap dad to the kid he actually DID stick around for would dry me up faster than salt on a slug. 

Your SS is a direct reflection of the parenting (or lack thereof) of your BF. If your SS is being disrespectful (and he is), it's because your BF doesn't see a problem with the disrespect. That's why he allows it to happen and doesn't put the fear of God in his son.

SS isn't ruining your relationship; your BF is by being inactive and a lazy parent. Kick them out and find someone who actually can parent their kids.

Bex_S's picture

Submitted by Bex_S on Thu, 02/20/2020 - 6:14am

You're right. The relationship isn't worth it; that man doesn't deserve you or either of his children. He abandoned one, and isn't parenting the other. You and your daughter should leave for your own sakes.

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 11:40am

So you reconnected with a man that went MIA on your daughter and during that time he had a son who he can't seem to parent and you don't know what to do? 

Did you question his character when he left? Do you question it now, that you see the product of what he created in his son? You should ask yourself why you took him back and if it's even worth staying with him. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 02/21/2020 - 2:36pm

So,  this POS abandoned your daughter and has failed miserably in raising his son.

And you voluntarily reentered into a relationship with this guy?

Really?