A court proceeding that DH didn't know about!
So after the last incident where DH and I got into because I reacted badly to a text from SD we made a lot of promises, I would do my best not to do something that will make him defensive and he will have patience with me knowing that as much as I want to not deal with SD, I still have concern over her, I am still emotionally invested (trying not to be) and my overall concern is making sure that DH is taking care of his own mental health.
Last week while we were camping, SD sent DH a text- "Are you going to be at the court today?" and he had NO idea what this was about. He had just received the psychologist evaluation of her all of her assessments and thought this was about bringing the boy who sexually assaulted her last year. No word from BM when he text her. So we get back from camping when he has a chance to review his emails, the evaluation, and connect with BM.
Apparently the court date was to bring SD to court because she missed so much school last year (50+) days and 100% failed all her classes. The original idea was that she would attend the summer program at the Therapeutic School and then be progressed to 9th grade in that school. She NEEDS this school and even the evaluation stated this. She needs the emotional support, last year she utilized the guidance counselor for HOURS per day because she just couldn't get through school. She has been on medication (Prozac) for 4 months now, so maybe her anxiety is getting better but then I remembered the kid is just an asshole and anxiety was more of an excuse to not do what she was suppose to do than the actual issue. She has refused the summer program all summer, because he has anxiety attacks about going there.
Well somehow this court case happened without DH being notified and the end result was that SD will attend the regular high school for 45 days to have the evaluation completed to see if she actually needs the services the therapy school offers. DH and I are baffled we 100% believe this is what she needs, she needs the daily therapy, she needs to be held accountable and here is ONE more thing where she can do as she pleases and STILL comes out on top. How can the school system justify sending her to 9th grade, let alone to the regular school. I think they are just trying to move her along until she turns 16 and quits (because that is the future) But if they think they will be able to move to her the therapy school after the evaluation they are fooling themselves.
All of this without DH being notified, while SD has not been in our home since May 19th, he is still a VERY active parent, he is contributing more than just money but LOTS of time with the school and other entities trying to get his daughter the help she needs, he is not an absentee father but we are fairly sure that BM wants that to be the case and most likely told the school not to bother with him or something. BM wants him to back out because that means she has someone to blame for her lack of parenting.
He is overwhelmed, he sent emails to the school district, the counselor, the therapy school and CC'd BM on them because if she is lying we will find out soon enough what else she may be planning. He then plans on going to the court with the CO to ask why he wasn't included or notified? When he has BM she said "The letter came on a Friday for a Monday court date, I thought you got the letter too" she didn't even touchbase with him about it over that weekend which means she didn't want him there. He said when something like moving houses or court dealing with school he is expecting she will tell him. Dumb Ass BM responds "If you want to know just call and ask" so he replies "So you want me to call you every single day and ask- have you moved, is there any school issues, medical issues? because I will" and she shut the hell up.
Why does this woman under mean EVERY good intention and move that will help her daughter? I told him he needs to keep filing contempt on her because she keeps making unilateral decisions which isn't compliant with the limited CO they have. DH feels like the courts will keep letting him down, that they just say fuck you to fathers and that pathological lying BM has convinced the world he is the devil.
Sorry just venting, this is all so much all the time. My heart breaks for DH.