I'm the one called selfish???
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I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He has 2 kids (4 and 7) who live 8 hours away from us. We just had them for 5 weeks and I had to pay for almost EVERYTHING, including a week trip to the beach, since my boyfriend is basically unemployed. I decided to book us a romantic beach vacation for a few days just to kind of unwind. My boyfriend basically said that I was being selfish because that money could have been used to go visit the kids for a weekend - if not, we probably won't be able to see them until Christmas. I work hard for my money and feel like if I want a vacation then I deserve a vacation - not driving 8 hours each way to sit in a hotel room with him and the 2 kids. Am I being selfish?
no, welcome to the war
no, welcome to the war
No, but you should have been.
No, but you should have been. Since he seemed to not appreciate the idea of getting away with you, maybe go alone or with a group of girlfriends!
Sometimes I think people need a tape recorder that you can play back the things they say so they can hear just how insane it sounds!
Sounds like he doesn't
Sounds like he doesn't appreciate your gesture at all. Seriously, sounds like you need a solo getaway, or invite a friend.
No, it is not selfish. In
No, it is not selfish. In fact, it is quite generous. If he is basically unemployed than it is his circumstances that prevents him from seeing the kids before Christmas.
Take a friend, or go yourself. I have traveled solo; it is very relaxing and invigorating at the same time.
Leave his butt at home next
Leave his butt at home next time. Actually, this is a red flag. Really think about this relationship and where its headed. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Parents expect you to have this immediate connection and obligation to their kids, the way they do. Thats selfish and unrealistic. It has taken years for me to feel a connection with them. If they were with me everyday, sure. But it was just the opposite; we saw them twice a year for a few weeks at a time. His guilt should not be yours.
You're not being selfish at
You're not being selfish at all, he just knows he's going to miss his kids and let it out the wrong way.