Do we have to live together

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My dh thinks that it would be better for us if he only lived with us part time (3 days a week). That he isn't the parent of my bio children, because it's just too hard.

We have lived like this, but for me, I felt used. He said that it was great, because he got money for the government as a single father.

I feel, as the wife, that its crap, though I do appreciate the fact that the house is not such a pressure cooker.

Does anyone have this form of arrangement? Does it work for you? Am I being aiming to high? I have relatives that have had successful relationships in this regard. What is the philosophy behind it?

Regards

Danielle

My feelings on this is that either you are married or your not. If you are only living as married less than 1/2 the time, what is the point? You deserve a man who is will to put 100% into being with you. Not out living like a bachelor 1/2 of the time. I am not suggesting that that he would cheat on you but it sure would make it easy...

I would never cheat on

I would never cheat on anybody and not because I wouldn't hurt them, but because I wouldn't allow myself to be thought of as a whore. The only love in my heart that is greater than the love for my husband is my love for God. That being said, I, too, want to live separately. He has two kids who he has full custody of, he doesn't require BM to pay child support but does allow her contact freely with the kids even though she tells them things like, "You better not do a damn thing that big fat f***ing b*tch says!", and his kids are absolute monsters to me and angels to every single other person in their lives including my family. Sometimes, I think that the only way I can ever see my DH and I making it work, is if I didn't live with his disrespectful, manipulative, spiteful children. It has nothing to do with being free for me. It has to do with the more involved I am, the more the skids and I hate each other, and that is not fair to anybody in this household. And I've tried everything in my power over the last 4 years. It only gets worse. I can't speak for OP's DH, but he might be in the same boat as me. How do you know it is just a way for him to be free? Some skids aren't just irritating. Some are downright cruel.

Hey c-mom I hear what you are

Hey c-mom

I hear what you are saying. I think people will do anything just to cope.

My dh said that he wanted to be with me, and that he wanted to take me on a date. I thought that was really great. Then he said that he would take me on a date with his pal Steve and his hot date jenine. He said that it would just be boring him and I going out. So I said, "so I'm boring", he said, "I've had enough I'm out of here" and he left.

I think it's getting clear to me, very clear. I'm not enough. And that's ok. Because its a reflection of him - not me. I have been there, I have supported and loved, encouraged - and I'm not enough. But at least now that he has left, I am free.

Hi overworkedmom I lived like

Hi overworkedmom

I lived like that (3 months), with him sleeping over 3 nights a week, and it felt like he was living a bachelor lifestyle. It didn't feel like marriage. He asked to move back incessantly, then I said he could, then he said he wanted the weekend to think about it. Then I said, its all or nothing. He moved back in (until he left me today).

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