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Let’s Talk About Sex SD….sung to the tune of Salt & Pepper’s anthem

States75's picture

When I first met SO, SD had been with her then b/f 6 months (she was 17) and SO allowed them to stay over after some period of getting to know b/f….I don’t know how long this was as I hadn’t met SO. Anyhow none of my business. But it has been all the in your face behaviour relating to her sexual activity I found weird.

She has left used condoms and the empty wrappers in the bin in her bathroom…..GROSS….and this from a privately educated ‘girl’....a fact that she likes to brag abt…LMFAO. The thing is she NEVER cleans her bathroom (oh unless she has a b/f over for a bath when we are away……sheesssshhhh) (despite this being a condition of her dad buying her a new laptop….but that’s another one of many stories ….lol).

Her contraceptive pill was always on the kitchen counter next to the cooker. I would have thought it would have been better placed in her bathroom or dressing table. Just seemed weird we all had to look at it whilst preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks etc…LOL!!!
Not sure if any of you are aware of the website Omegle…for those of you who don’t it is a free on-line chat website….which was used for sexual interaction via the WWW….rather than chatting. Well SD had gone out after having some friend round and left her laptop on the kitchen top with this website and some rather explicit conversations between her and the ‘Stranger’.

Then when I was moving in she said she had issues with us in the ‘bedroom’…..Ummmmm….OK so what’s good for the goose isn’t good for the older adults gander….WTH….I have always been more aware of being quiet than SO and have told him to be quiet before!!!! Apparently it had disturbed/scarred her when she lived with BM, when BM & husband had sex in the house…this was a few years after the divorce!!!!! Also on SO’s 2nd wedding night she insisted on going home with them (her sister did not go) & then cried and screamed when they went to bed and obviously were doing YKW….even though SO said that his 2nd wife had always been ‘quiet’ when his children were there.

When she split up with her longterm b/f…she slept with one of his friends to ‘get back at him’ yet calls other the ‘local bicycle’….hope you have the similar phrase in the States !!!
She often walks around in next to nothing. Has come down to the dining room, kitchen in just a towel and sat directly in that state of dress in between my SO and I. She has paraded around the house in just underwear. Her dad has said something to her about this as the upstairs landing is clearly visible from the road and houses across the road (apparently some guy she knew lived in one of those house..hhhhmmmmmm). She has also posted on Twitter “Just spying on my neighbour and he’s seen me in my underwear #whoops”

When we were coming back from a holiday abroad (she thought dad was on a golfing holiday….so guess what ladies….no texts/calls…hahahaha) she text “what would you say if a friend of mine was going out with a 3o year old”. The friend was obviously her and she was a couple of months off her 19th birthday. Needless to say….yep it was her. She never brought him back to the house….can’t imagine why…but slept over at his parents regularly….all of which BM approved of apparently.....really?!?!?! Anyhow we never met him as it finished a few days after we invited him to dinner at home and they didn’t show (despite a ton of effort on my part). When they split she text her dad saying “you got what you wanted”…..ohhhhh grow up!!!!

Insert….1 month of ignoring us….except to ask for money of course….then….

Whilst we were on holiday in the States she had some bloke staying that she had met on a 1 week holiday abroad (well we think it was him…lol)…card with a soppy message and (by then) dead flowers)….all strategically place for us to see…I said to SO DO NOT MENTION IT AT ALL….to his credit (well as far as I am aware) he didn’t. Plus underpants (b/f goes comando so not his) left stuffed in the cupboard/drawer where the toilet paper is (b/room is not an ensuite…is on the main landing so we all use for the wc if the other WC is being used.And being as she never cleans up one of us were bound to find them....

Then a couple of months later she ‘sneeks’ a random bloke we have not heard of/met before in the house….SO only found out as he heard him leave early the next morning. SO pulls her up on it….not to happen again…blah, blah, blah…instead of an apology (I would never had done that & would be mortified if my dad pulled me up on anything like that)…she turned round and said “well States75 came and stayed”. I think he replied along the lines of well that’s different and States75 spent time talking to you etc. He came to a ‘compromise’ that said b/f could come round but had to leave the house at 1am. Oh and said ‘b/f’ was actually jetting off to Canada in the next 2 months as part of his ‘gap year’ for about 7 months and she had tweeted that b/f said she could call him “her boyfriend” WFT ….at 19 – please draw your own conclusions as to his ‘motives!!! Of course the next time he was snuk in and out early next morning. Same conversation as above….literally WTF….ZERO RESPECT !!! So he still comes round at night only on the w/e (she is only at the house at w/e b/c of uni). Only once coming and saying hello to SO. Obviously this was part of SO’s issue…he had let previous b/f stay over as there was an actual ‘relationship’ and ex b/f came for dinner, watched films and was nice to talk to etc. So several different incidences….of past the ‘curfew’ b/f not going etc etc. I’m like does she have no shame?????????????? So eventually that b/f jets off into the sunset never to be heard again…..of course more drama, tears etc etc. Dad buys her a curry to make her 'feel better'....seriously...LOL :? :? :? :? :?

Now there is someone new on the scene at Uni….I think it is a bit up and down now (now she knows how I bloody well feel….although she brings it all upon herself!!!). Her dad said hopefully he will be able to sort her out……Ummmmm NOOOOOOOOOOO. She carries on displaying her narcissistic, entitled and needy behaviour he’ll be gone too…. DSO….the problem most definitely, at least, partially lies with you.

So my question…..I think she openly ‘flaunts’, for want of a better word, her sexuality in front of her dad, a behaviour of from mini wife, emotional incest, electra complex issues?? Does anyone think the same?

Also if the same issue arises again regarding her comments about when I first started staying over I think the message should be “do as I say not as I do”. I would really appreciate any advice anyone can offer around this issue as I/we can never anticipate what she will say trying to justify her behaviour in this regard. She just thinks that she is an equal with SO/me. She is back from Uni every w/e and the holidays. She does not contribute to the household in any way….although she may throw her duvet back over the bed when she gets up on occasion.

Thank you for reading and any comments/advice would be REALLY appreciated xx

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

It is really quite simple, it is NOT HER HOUSE. Dad and common-law spouse make the rules, not SD.

Inviting strangers in is reckless and dangerous. BF should confront the gentlemen direct and say they are not to be in the house after 1:00 AM.

SD really needs to move out. She clearly has no respect or anyone and is using her daddy for money etc.

They would have a much healthier relationship if with normal boundaries in place.

1. No birth control pills on kitchen counter
2. Wear a robe in the house, no half naked prancing around
3. No overnight men guests - ever!
4. Clean up after yourself always.

These are just a few rules that should be in place. If you live there too, you have every right to expect consideration.

But really, she needs to be GONE - sooner rather than later.

Disneyfan's picture

I don't know any men that would allow their teen daughters to have sex on their home.

What adult doesn't keep the noise down while doing the do when kids are in the house?

No wonder the girl is a whore.

Rags's picture

Your home, your rules so you and your DH enforce them. If it were my house the BF sneaking in or out would be lucky to not be met with a shotgun blast for invading my home.

As for your road whore SD ..... if she lives at home at all she follows the rules.

Regarding her trist with a 30yo. My wife and I met in university when I was 29 and she was 18. We married when I was 30 and she was nearly 19. We will celebrate our 19th anniversary this Summer. An 11 year age difference is not necessarily a problem.

Your SD's behavior and complete lack of character on the other hand ..... that is a problem. As well as it is for the complete lack of character displayed by her series of cocksmen who sneak in and out of your home. No gentleman or man of character would behave in that manner. At the very least they should have coughed up the cash for a hotel. That is what I used to do when I was home for the Summer from university and staying at my parent's home. Even in HS I would not bring girls in to my bedroom in the family home or sneak in to the home of their family. That just did not work for me.

Now, when mom and dad were on a holiday ..... I had no issues with having girls stay over.

In college my room mates and I would work out how to deal with sleepover girl friends in a way that preserved some dignity for the young ladies and provided privacy.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this crap and that your DH has lost touch with his sack to the point that he is allowing it to continue.

Good luck.

States75's picture

Hi CheriWilson...thanks for yr msg

Their 'relationship' is strange IMO...up, down, round and around....who wants that kind of crazy relationship???

I think, or rather know she needs therapy, and her aunt has suggested the same and her dad...but more for her general behaviour.

I thought I was being 'over sensitive' re. The pill on the counter...glad you can see it is not right....just seems weird to me and I have never seen it before and I have teenage/young adult cousins too. I have mine in my bedside cabinet. Other meds are kept in a cupboard in the utility room reason hers have to be on the kitchen counter...I just haven't wanted to say anything for fear of being accused of being 'petty'.

Yep....totally agree with the robe...her argument...sorry whine... Wink will is my home. BS....I never walked around like that in front of my dad from about 8....just weird!!!!!

I agree about men/boys overnight.....she is just impossible to argue with ....or rather she won't Ashe has never faced any consequences before...I think he needs to start coming up with some and ENFORCING THEM!!!

I get your point re. Living together and thank you for your is certainly something to consider.

Many thanks again for your message

oldone's picture

Unfortunately she's just a skanky tramp. How sad for your DH to have such a daughter.

Yes I know that sex is normal. But her actions about parading it about are truly skank worthy. How soon can you get her out of your home? Why does she have to come home on weekends? She must have living quarters somewhere else during the week.

And I don't blame either of her parents for her being so trashy - she's old enough to make her own decisions. She bears responsibility for them.

oneoffour's picture

Just tell her "All medicines are kept in the utility cupboard. If I see them laying around here again I am throwing them in the rubbish." Or just do it anyway. But to be fair (not that she deserves it) I would warn her once. "Please, we know you are having sex. It really isn't so complicated and lots of people do it your know. Even guys in prison get conjugal visits. So stop behaving like it is and put your birth control away or I will do it for you... into the rubbish."

Oh and as you want her gone ... do not mute your love making.

All the other stuff is attention seeking. "Look Daddy! I am having sex with meaningless strangers! But it is OK cos it isn't for real. Just online."
"Look Daddy! I have sex in your home when you are away. How is THAT for punishment? I am HAVING SEX because you took States75 away on holiday and didn't take ME!"

Do not do anything for her. DO not cook for her, do her laundry ... nothing. I found my Ssons had more respect for me when I stopped being nice to them. Albeit I wasn't mean, but I didn't go out of my way to be helpful.

States75's picture

SD's dumped by 6th partner in 12 months 2 days before her birthday!!

Well I knew it wouldn't be long...but there we have it. I wonder what he was in the 'relationship' for!!!!!!

He probably couldn't afford the Porsche, Gucci luggage set, tropical island holiday she was asking for her birthday!

So more drama all round, but I think SO might just be starting to 'get it'. I had told him a few weeks before she in incapable of forming normal relationships in all contexts of her life, be it BF's or usual girl friends (SO actually told me she 'picks the weak ones'), family etc.

Plus instead of the very expensive Tiffany necklace she had asked "Daddy" to get, he bought her a much more reasonably priced (less than $50) bracelet. Hmmmmmmmmm....maybe just maybe