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Boyfriends ex has crossed the line

fergiesnr's picture

Someone help i need advice. My b/fs ex cant or wont let go. She threw him out almost 4 years ago and we got together shortly after, she told anyone who would listen including his family, that i was one of her best friends and i stole him off her, which isnt true. She regularly stalks me through facebook etc even to the extent of making friends with MY ex she dosn't even know him! She constantly trys to find out what we are doing, things we have bought, when we are getting married etc. They have kids together but for over a year he had to go to her house to see them she didnt want them near me until b/f discovered her new b/f had met them and had stayed over. I am still not allowed to look after them or to have photos of them. They get on great with my own kids they are all similar ages, we all look forward to having them stay over. However she seems to delight in making my life difficult - turning up to family and social events etc. However i have recently found out that she has been staring and giving my 12yo daughter dirty looks when they bump into each other at the shop beside my daughters school. I told my b/f to have a word with her and her just completely ignored me like i hadnt even spoke. He is not very good at taking my side in most things she is involved in although he dosnt take hers either. He dosnt deal with problems he just ignores them and hopes they go away. I think in this instance something should be said HELP.

fergiesnr's picture

I know what you are saying but i can deal with her stupid games, for the most part i understand him ignoring her attention seeking. How do i get him to understand my daughter dosnt deserve to be dragged into it.

Gia's picture

DH needs to understand that he is not a secondary or second class parent. He has as much right to those kids as the BM. He needs to put his foot down and make some decisions based on the kids.

I can tell you for a fact that...

BM has NO right to NOT let DH see his kids outsied their house (unless stated so by court order)
Let alone decide who DH introduces to the children (unless maniacs, pedophiles, etc...)
And it is also none of her business what you do with their pictures or what goes on in that house.

You want to have pics of them? who is she to tell you NO? sooo ridiculous.

Please have a sit-down with DH and explain to him that maybe he plays along with everything BM says for the "sake of the kids" but in reality, all she wants is power. When he tries NOT to argue with her, it would probably end in an argument between the two of you. And guess what, the one person he is supposed to be pleasing is YOU, he should not give 2 craps what BM thinks should or should not be done in your house.