How to deal with your husband having a separate life
I have a question for all those who have successfully disengaged - how do you handle the fact that once you disengage your husband now essentially has a separate life with his children?
One of my biggest challenges with stepmotherhood - and one of the things leading to my disengagement - is that my DH still seems to think that he can just do his own thing when it comes to his kids and expect me to go along with it. He also seems to think that it's fine for BM to schedule things on our time and we should just go along with it. I've been pushing him to set boundaries, but once I disengage, I feel like I'll have to lay off that (or maybe I'll have to lay off that in order to disengage). We've fought about this, so it's clearly an issue that bothers me. How do I stop being bothered, in order to disengage?
Do you just pretend that your husband is away when his kids are around and not think about what he's doing or worry about what he might be doing? Do you just go away yourself?