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Step-dad won't allow visit??

akeira's picture
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My 9-yr-old step-daughter lives with her dad and me full time, however my husband and his ex-wife actually have joint custody. We live in Kansas, and she lives in Nebraska. My step-daughter's mom is married to a tyrant of a man who my step-daughter is terrified of. Recently, she reported to us and her therapist that she had suffered some physical abuse. She claimed that her step-dad had made her stand in a corner all day, and would hit her with the handle of a fly swatter on the legs whenever she moved. She also reported that he would send her to bed at 11 am (for the night) and not let her eat after for the rest of the day/night as a punishment after she acted up. It was an extended visit during the summer, so there were no marks when she came home, and CPS said they couldn't do much about it in another state since he of course denied it. After this happened, he's decided that she's not allowed at her mom's house anymore, and not allowed to see her younger half-sister as a punishment for reporting it.  Her visits to her mom now consist of going to a relative's house and occasionally getting to see her mother at the relative's house. For example, during the summer, she was supposed to visit her mom. What ended up happening though, is that her mom took her to her grandmother's house, and she only saw her mom when she was dropped off at the beginning of the visit, and picked up at the end of the visit (my step-daughter was at her grandmother's for 6 weeks).  We're worried that she's going to have to spend Christmas away from her parents because her mom will insist on having Christmas visitation, but then leave her at her grandma's and not visit her. My question is: Is my husband forced to allow this, or does he have some legal ground to refuse to let this happen anymore? We just can't afford a lawyer in order for him to try for full custody, and he's too worried he would lose anyway. So that's not an option right now. Are we legally allowed to refuse "visitation" in order to make sure she's not essentially abandoned for Christmas?

Stepped in what momma's picture

I have to ask but could SD be lying about SF as we often see skids do with their SM? I mean is the SD saying she can't come back to his house to protect himself the way all of us would do if we were falsely accused of something we didn't do?

Stepmom09's picture

If a Skid accused me of something like this I would probably ban them from my home as well. I can't risk that messing up my whole life especially if it was all made up. If there any thing in the agreement about how long the parent can spend away from the child?

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

This is when ROFR (regardless of what caused it) needs to come into play.

Look up right of first refusal. If she's not with her mom, she should be with her dad.

WalkOnBy's picture

Disagree - when ASS reported DH and me to CPS we never heard one word from them. No investigation, hell, no phone call, no nothing....and there are two other kids in my home.