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woman without a voice

mercy's picture

Hello, i am here hoping to find clarity. I've been through alot of stressful things and this relationship is turning me into a person i myself don't like. I feel like my nerves are shattered and im very confused. My husband seems to try to make me feel better but on the other hand i feel very degrated by him. I feel horrible and dont know what to do. We fight about his daughter all the time

mercy's picture

I should mention that i have a serious problem with insecurity. He treats his daughter like she's an angel. He worships her. And she is very well behaved and everyone adores her. I have become resentful over time because he is so insanely obsessed with her that everything is all about her. She is on a pedastal and everyone else in our home is below her including me.i have no voice and i feel like im in the shadows of his life. I love him but its a painful place to be. Any opinions?

overworkedmom's picture

In any relationship and in life it is important that YOU know YOU. I would suggest personal counseling for you. You are important, you have worth. You just have to find your voice and be proud of yourself- because you can't ever count on anyone else to give your life meaning and security.

mercy's picture

Thank you! Wow, you are very wise. Im going to write down what you said and think about it. I feel hope because if your message.

overworkedmom's picture

Smile (((hugs))) You can make it through this stage and come out an even stronger better you!

lil_lady's picture

I recently broke down infront of bf and told him that when I start resenting the things in life I should be happy about I feel like I dont even know who I am. This was after finding out that we weren't moving when I thought we were (I can do what I love in the place we will eventually move).I had a complete emotional break down because BM snapped the other day wrote me a nasty email abouthow I dont matter and neither does aanything I say. Meanwhile her decision to not follow through with a move means I do what I love and have to comute loosing out on fuel money with an already low paying job or just dont do it and actually save up money before mat leave.

Anyways that being said I know how you feel and I think you need to stop beating yourself up. Deep inside you know who you are definitely try to talk with someone a professional or not but you will find yourself. You have found yourself in one of the harder situations in life and it will just make you stronger. But most of all find a way to tell your dh how you feel... you dont have to mean or rude about it. It doesnt sound to me like your SD is being treated properly and it could possibly give her a complex doen the road. Sometimes it seems like we as SM slip into this frame of mind that we are the evil sm and just being unreasonable. What I have done in the past is sit down and pinpoint why I think this behavior is not good am I being jelous or is this something that is not in the best interest of my skid? Usually after taking some time I find its not in the best interest of my skid, seems to me like your situation is no different. Talk to your DH and if you come to the conclusion you are being insecure and its fine the way he is acting then tell him... "I know I am not being reasonable but I still feel this way can you help me through this?" Be honest with your feeling s no one can get mad at you for that and if you are you are being honest with yourself...

HUGS... we have all been there I think