Will I ever feel differently?
im new here and I've found it so comforting (if that's the correct choice of words) to read others posts on this forum. I have no friends currently that have step kids so often it's hard for friends to completely understand where I'm coming from.
I've currently been in a relationship for 3 years, my partner has 3 kids 6 I and 15 and I have one child who is 8.
when it is just me and my partner and all the kids are with there respective parents, we get on great, enjoy each other's company, laugh together and really connect.
my partner is a brilliant person and father to his kids, but struggles with my son who has ADHD. He tends hold onto feeling angry after my son has a meltdown and then retracts and doesn't talk or interact as much with him.
I can't no matter how much I try to shake it off feel like we will ever slot together as a family. There is so much I find hard to accept about this life, but those feelings come in waves I feel like I'm ready to give up but then brush it under the rug and carry on.
The youngest two have no respect for my home, they break things wee all over the bathroom, don't go to bed some times till 11pm in the evenings so me and my partner have no evening together.
the eldest is also difficult because he wants constant entertainment from us, there isn't any point that he has will just chill out on his own.
I am an introvert and someone who craves and needs my own time and space. My partner finds this difficult to accept and often takes it that I don't want to spend time with him and the kids which then causes a row. It makes me feel suffocated as I feel I'm not allowed to be myself.
I feel so guilty all the time because I feel I should love his children, and I just don't.
The next issue is, I want another child and he has said no.
my question is, will I ever feel happy and settled with my step kids.
does it get easier? Does anyone have any solutions?