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Very Wier situation; HELP

crazystepmom3's picture

5 years ago my 9 year old son & I met a wonderful man and his 7 yr old daughter & 10 year old son and soon married, with the children in the ceremony. His X had abandoned the family and he had primary custody. We all got along great until the X decided to come back into their lives and create havoc. A simple visitation/child support case we brought on due to her not letting the kids attend thier activities was quickly turned into a custody battle by her along with lies against us to her kids. They still live with us and since then her second husband has molested the daughter and done unknown things to the stepson and my biological son is caught in the middle. I don't get along with the X and my husband and his parents bow down to her just to "get along". They also do not tell the children that the X lies to them or what the truth really is so they believe thier mother in everything. My husbands parents also spoil the kids rotten but tend to leave my son out and he has expressed that he feels like he does not belong in the family. In the process, the stepdaughter has lied and manipulated me so badly that our relationship is very strained and I do not feel I can trust her at all. We are on our 3rd year of waiting for a court date since she has either cancelled or her lawyer has postponed the court dates. Now all kids are teenagers and her/his kids are totally on her side and the boys have been caught experimenting with weed and my son has been labeled the "bad influence" by the X even though the stepson chose to partake in the activity as well. Our marriage is in jeopardy and if my husband loses the kids to her I don't know if the marriage will last. And now my teenage bio son can't stand my husband since he's violated his privacy (read his cell phone texts)& thinks he's weak by what he's letting his X do to our family. He also doesn't get to spend much time with his bio dad. Is there anyone that can offer any suggestions?

Jsmom's picture

Yes - let the mom have the kids. I am telling you having BTDT, you can't win this one if they want to be with her. The judge will listen to them and at the end of it, all you will have are the legal bills. It kills my DH about his SD15, but he knows that he couldn't stop this train wreck no matter how much he tried....

crazystepmom3's picture

How could a judge let the X have the kids after she let her second husband molest the kids while on her watch while she was being abused by him as well? As well as having abandoned the kids in the first place to cheat on him 5 years ago? Did I mention she is now married for the 3rd time and has never taken responsibility for the kids? Am I really that wrong?

crazystepmom3's picture

The molestation is on file and the X's ex husband is in jail. CPS didn't do anything to her. Kids are now 13, 14, 15 and my son is being labeled the scapegoat. Everyone knows (lawyers) that she abandoned children at early age to have affair. Kids even know that. Now my son doesn't like my husband and it's tearing the "family" apart.

crazystepmom3's picture

I also read your post on in laws. I feel for you. Mine seem to have good intentions but fail miserably with my bio son. THat's one of the reasons he feels like he's not part of the family.

Jsmom's picture

If they are 12 and 15 there is nothing you can do...I swear it sucks. But, we could prove SD's kids had both been expelled from schools for drinking and beating a girl up. That he was a horrible parent. It didn't matter, they never wanted to see that stuff. They only went off of what the kid wanted. When we figured that out, we stopped the process and went to mediation and gave up custody of SD15 since that is what she wanted anyway...