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Wierd situation; any suggestions?

crazystepmom3's picture

5 years ago my 9 year old son & I met a wonderful man and his 7 yr old daughter & 10 year old son and soon married, with the children in the ceremony. His X had abandoned the family and he had primary custody. We all got along great until the X decided to come back into their lives and create havoc. A simple visitation/child support case we brought on due to her not letting the kids attend thier activities was quickly turned into a custody battle by her along with lies against us to her kids. They still live with us and since then her second husband has molested the daughter and done unknown things to the stepson and my biological son is caught in the middle. I don't get along with the X and my husband and his parents bow down to her just to "get along". They also do not tell the children that the X lies to them or what the truth really is so they believe thier mother in everything. My husbands parents also spoil the kids rotten but tend to leave my son out and he has expressed that he feels like he does not belong in the family. In the process, the stepdaughter has lied and manipulated me so badly that our relationship is very strained and I do not feel I can trust her at all. We are on our 3rd year of waiting for a court date since she has either cancelled or her lawyer has postponed the court dates. Now all kids are teenagers and her/his kids are totally on her side and the boys have been caught experimenting with weed and my son has been labeled the "bad influence" by the X even though the stepson chose to partake in the activity as well. Our marriage is in jeopardy and if my husband loses the kids to her I don't know if the marriage will last. Is there anyone that can offer any suggestions?

Comments

truebloodfreak's picture

well first off most teens experiment with weed. not too big of deal. i sont think that should affect anything. as long as parents arent on drugs, second why would the skids want to go with their mother if she's still married to Guy that abused them?!? they have been living with you guys for the past years for a reason. Im sorry your son is caught. in the middle of the BS. is he close with his siblings??? you and your DH didn't do anything wrong so his ex doesn't really have anything. she messed up by letting her kids get a used by her man

crazystepmom3's picture

So you don't think the weed useage is something to go freakout crazy over? My son admitted just last night to getting high when I picked him up from hanging out with friends. He swears he's only an occasional user, once or twice a month and can quit anytime he wants to but is that something I really want to rely on? I don't want to alienate him and lose his trust by grounding him or punishing him since he fessed up but I hate for him to get away with it and get hooked.