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Struggling with jealousy

Izzy2's picture

Submitted by Izzy2 on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 5:31am

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

Hi

I have 2 SDs and we have one daughter together with their dad.  I seem to keep coming back to the same problem and that is I realise he only seems happy when the SDs are around.  Not with me and our daughter.  I dont know whether this will change but I am getting tired of feeling not good enough and I worry about our daughter shes only 3 and I think she deserves more.  I get it it's hard to be away from your children.  But when they arent here he will either moan about their lack of contact and just disengage with us or is cooing down the phone at them.  It's a real primitive instinct I know but I worry that this isnt going to change.  It's been 3 years and just seems to be getting worse. 

 

Any advice.   

Iz

STaround's picture

Submitted by STaround on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 7:37am

Not harshly, but gently.  Give him time to respond.  Ask him what activities he might do with 3YO, like read to her.  You may have to coach  him, not just say play wth DD.    When his SDs were this age, his ex may have done most with him, he may be following what he did earlier.

How old are your SDs, is there anything they can do together?   

 

Izzy2's picture

Submitted by Izzy2 on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 10:55am

I have tried.   He did say  that he feels like he doesnt do enough.  So when she woke up the next  day I asked him to get her dressed he snored and rolled over.  This pushes me further and further away. 

Izzy2's picture

Submitted by Izzy2 on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 10:57am

Definitely not that he seems her when she drops the SDs off but they hate each other. I just think hes not ever got over being cheated on by her 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 9:56am

I think it's time for the "come to Jesus" meeting with your man and say exactly how you feel ie abandoned by him, and that his daughter with you will grow up feeling like this if he carries on.  Maybe he's one of those men that can't appreciate what they've got, only what they let slip away, or other women etc.  This really is no basis for a relationship,  and he needs to sort himself out. 

Izzy2's picture

Submitted by Izzy2 on Fri, 07/19/2019 - 11:03am

I agree with that analogy and I dont want that for my daughter primarily and nor me as it's no way to teach her about relstionships but it worries me that if im not there when he has her if we break up he will be as rude about me as he is to the Sds about their mum