Step daughters telling me it their house and i should leave
I have been with my partner 8 years now and have my own son who is 15 living with us..i lost his mum when he was a vaby through PND...Thinhs were great with my new partner whom i moved in with to her home but after a minor fallout she said for the first time and not the last GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. I was shocked and didnt know what to do so just started putting what i could in bags that got ripped and thrown downstairs...eventually it calmed down and she said she would never do that again ..she has now on numerous occasions and has started picking more and more on my son, who is a typical boy, might not always do as asked but not a bad child. He actually loved her when we first met. Thing is i still love her but i cant listen to the difference in her tone with my son and her girls,who are in their early 20s..they get away with things mike leaving lights on that my son gets shouted at for...the arguements get more and more abusive and i am called all sorts of things.But when things are good they are great andxdge cant be anymore loving...my original point was that on one occasion last year whilst i was defending how my son was being spoken to my partbers older daughter busts into the room yelling that me and my son are not wanted in their home. My partnetr just stood there...then a few moths sgo the other dsughter told me i was 55 and should get out abd get my own flat...again my partner never said anything. I used to have a great relationship with them but when their mumum who is 48 starts shouting its a poisonous stuff said to infuence them...i know i should leave because i have trued to tell her how hurtfull that is but i get nothing back...i just need some advice as i am at my wits end...i know my son comes first i may add. I am just looking for some friendly advice..i think since losing my wife to PND i am maybe not as strong willed as i used to be..i also know i should move out.
You need to be strong for
You need to be strong for your son and get him out of that abusive situation, ASAP.
Same answer as when you
Same answer as when you posted this yesterday (or whenver), under a different user name. Move yourself and your son out.
Fallout
Fallouts can be just simple things that end up blown out of proportion...my son maybe doesnt wash a dush properly or doesnt put the toilet lid up and its a moan..her daughters leave an empty toilet roll in the sink and they are not spoken too...my son has a bath and forgets to rinse it ge is shouted at, her daughters fo the same and nothing said..im pretty easy going but i think things like tbat are do unfair..If she buys something nice and im not involved in buying it, it is cast ip to me at a later date..she can be do loving in lots of otger ways but the mood swings and how she reacts to my son are ruinging everything...yet dhe cant see it.
she said for the first time
she said for the first time and not the last GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
I will give you the same advice I did before: LEAVE NOW.
What are you waiting for? For her to start a physical fight, call the police and have them drag you out, and she files assault charges? Why do you continue to stay with a woman who keeps telling you to get out?
Do you love your son? HE IS BEING ABUSED BY THIS POS FEMALE. If you love your son, leave. If you don't love your son, let him live with someone who does.
This woman sounds like
She’s personality disordered in some way with this manipulative hot/cold behaviour. It drives men away because your whole relationship is a headache, noting you do is right, everything you do is wrong and this woman is all over the place with her anger.
just like my husbands exwife being so abusive. She thought behaving this way ensured hubby was under her command. Yeah it backfired when he initiated divorce against her
Of course i love my son
I do appreciate all the advice given but being asked if i love my son...of course i do and my daughter who is now 26. I have cared for threm and tried my best as a dad all of their lives andcmore so when their mum commited suicide through post natsl depression 12 years ago when my son was 2 and bit years old..Suicide though changes you. Maybe i have become more dependent on this woman after what i have came through...She was fantastic at first and was easy to fall in love with. I guess i am just finding it difficult to let go. Life can be daunting..my head knows i need to leave and my heart is struggling. I think part of me feels sorry for her too, i mean what is happening in her mind also .
The solution is not difficult
The solution is not difficult to find. Move.
End of the presence of these toxic harpies in your life and the life of your son.
Keep it simple. Purge the toxic from your life.
You and I are the same age. I would not tolerate this crap from anyone, particularly my mate or any child.
Kinda the same boat...
I'm stepdad to 3 boys. I have spent 8 days in jail for spanking them when their mother asked me to for stealing money. Had phone messages of forty five seconds plus left that were full of expletives directed at me. Thousands of dollars worth of personal property stolen or destroyed over five years, most of which I owned long before I met their mother. Consistently and constantly told I'm the reason for their criminal actions by their mother. Told I should leave by all three kids way too many times to count. A ten year old that does not yet know how to wipe his butt or flush a toilet. A fourteen year old that readily admits 90%+ of his first answers to questions are lies he has thought about before hand. An eighteen year old that cant seem to work or finish high school, he is good at living with a string of girls in his basement apartment though. I love my wife quite a bit, is there a dollar figure of loss that equals leaving? Is there a finite number of disrespectful moments before I leave? Maybe one more trip to jail and the court system? I've stayed on the same kinda path because I love her, and I think her kids deserve to see somebody do it correctly, unlike their daddy that cant keep a needle outta his arm. As far as bein told to leave and that I don't deserve her and her kids, that's an every couple of months deal...
Moved out
Since posting this i have moved out with my son to a new rented house, i cant say its been easy but i have done it..since then any conversation with myvex partner has been put across that i was the one who instigated leaving. When actually she was the one who took my keys off of me in the past and also the one who wasnt shy in telling me it was her house and that i should get my own place anytime we argued..I am being made to feel guilty..apaet from that the only niggling thing i have is the feeling of not knowing who has been telling me the truth or lying to me over things said and done in the house before i left...y ex tells me that my son ( her step son ) is constantly lying and my son tells me she is lying..i know for a fact both of them arent being truthful to varying degrees which has me stuck in the middle wondering who is actually being honest with me.
GOOD! It was too much chaos
GOOD! It was too much chaos and drama for you and your son. If things are that difficult, clearly it is not "meant to be".
She and her daughter are now
She and her daughter are now in the past. Keep them there. Focus on your life and on your son. Sit him down, explain to him that you know he has lied in the past regarding things in the home when you both lived with your X but that lies will no longer be tolerated and going forward he needs to be completely honest with you going forward. Do not dredge up the past, focus on the future and on raising your son to be a viable adult and man of character, honor and standing in his community.
Even more importantly, focus on living your own life free of toxic.
Never move into someone house
Remember this for the next time. Sorry what happen
Thank you for the comments
My only thing eating at me though is the not knowing tge extent of lies beeen told to me by my ex partner and son...i obviuosly want o believe my son wouldnt lie to me to get me to leave my partner and equally i want to believe my ex partner wouldnt lie to me about my...its all such a mess.
What kinds of lies are we
What kinds of lies are we talking about, here?
You know that your ex partner is abusive, so it's not a stretch to think that she would lie for her own benefit. You already know she's lying about you instigating the move.
Also not a stretch to think that your son might exaggerate to motivate you to get the both of you out of that household.
Glad that you got out.
Get away from this emotional abuse
Please get you and your son away from this situation.