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SO's ex wife threatens to call CPS on me for my SS Lies!

RDSW's picture

Submitted by RDSW on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 2:47pm

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Blended Family Issues

My 14 yr old SS is creating stories about me being "mean" to me and telling them to his mom (who is a shit show; we have sole custody) she has told my SO that she will call CPS on me (meanwhile she has 2 counts of child abandonment/abuse)... This FALSE accusation could severely impact my own chronic issues with my ex. I have 2 younger children with sold decision and almost sole custody (Father isn't best for them according to the 2 court PRE's).

My SO is well versed in dealing with his ex's crazy antics but I AM NOT! He doesn't want to address them directly and really put her in her place. This not only gives her power in our relationship, it allows his son to continue to lie about me and completely disrespect me.

HELP!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 3:09pm

Call CPS yourself and report this. It will take the power away from the bratty skid and the crazy BM. If you've done nothing wrong, don't wait for your DH to do something. Get ahead of this threat and protect yourself by having it on the record that these baseless threats are being made.

Polarbear's picture

Submitted by Polarbear on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 4:19pm

I agree with Exjuliemccoy .....don't underestimate the power of crazy! Protect yourself and your kids.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 4:34pm

You should ban the 14 year old lying little bastard from your life PERMANENTLY. He should not be allowed within a 5 mile radius of you or your children. And your DH deserves a nut punch with a pointy toed steel boot if he doesn't respect that.

What I would like to do would be to take the little mfer aside and tell him that you are going to report him to CPS for molesting one of your younger children and that his ass is going to juvie where he will be treated like shit and then he'll be a registered sex offender. Now I would never make up lies like the little fucktard but I'd be so tempted to scare him shitless over what lies can do.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 5:11pm

THIS

Move into your own place. No man is worth losing your kids over. Your boyfriend can not control what BM does. Your ex will use a CPS investigation against you.

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 8:06am

^^Agreed! This happened to me. My ex falsely claimed I was abusive to my children when we were getting divorced. Being investigated by CPS is stressful and there will ALWAYS be a record of alleged abuse on file even if it is investigated and "Unfounded." They will come unannounced to your door and want to interview all of your children and ss14 alone, separately. My kids were brought to a back bedroom one by one, interviewed, they had to disrobe and be checked for bruises. It was terrible, invasive and abusive on it's own level. A nosy stranger undressing my kids! They were not abused but one of my sons had plenty of bruises and scuffs on his legs from playing in a soccer league. Luckily I got a letter a few weeks later that the abuse was "unfounded." But the stress on me, the trauma on my children was horrible.

I agree that if your SO will not protect you from BM or ss14 you may want to rethink his role in your life. No man is worth potentially losing your kids over.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Mon, 07/27/2015 - 5:05pm

IF you don't leave.

Dad needs to sit with kid and let the kid talk, "tell me what issues and problems you see/experience and what [kid] thinks the solutions should be."

Sit down with your SO, discuss all the issues and solutions for this kid. Write them down. Also do a 'safety' plan, steps to take when 14yo isn't behaving (particularly what your role is). research on net for parenting tools etc that relate directly with the issues you guys are having with kid.

'Family meeting' with all kids, write up house rules and consequence together. Stick it up on the wall for all to see.

Your SO should then contact BM (email would be best) addressing all the issues, send her the house rules and safety plan etc for your guys home. tell her that if she ever has concerns that [SO's] will always be open to discussing them with her.

We have faced false accusations, and all the above kept us safe and the accusations were dismissed very quickly, CPS stated that they believe the accusations were specifically constructed or elaborated in order to interfere with dads parenting time. BM has also been 'red flagged' by CPS, meaning whenever she calls in future, her file will tell them she's a trouble maker and they are unlikely to take her claims seriously (but still HAVE to follow up)

Katie8's picture

Submitted by Katie8 on Sun, 08/02/2015 - 7:22am

I have a similiar issue with my SS8...he has lied to BM and created a huge thing saying we are abusive...then BM showers him with gifts...DH's family has sided with BM (thier drinking buddy) it's been a year since I've allowed SS to sleep over at my home...he comes to visit but then goes home...I will not put myself in that situation for him to accuse me of abuse ever again..I have my bio kids to think about (I too have sole custody but thier father still has visitation). It sucks...it's put a wedge between me and DH and I no longer even try to have a relationship with SS...nor do I pretend to like him anymore...he has created so much stress and drama.. Sorry...but I've been waiting for it to go away..it's been a year. AS long as DH is on your side it's a bit easier...my DH was not and still thinks I'm over reacting.