When to call it quits
Quick summary: divorced with 1 teenage daughter (joint custody) and have dated single father with teenage son (sole custody) for almost 10 years. We have never lived together mainly because of my fears with blending families....different parenting styles, custody battle with vindictive ex-husband, and behavioral issues with his son.
My boyfriend and I are best friends and have a great relationship. I kept thinking that some of these issues would resolve themselves with time. Ultimately I do want to be re-married and live together as a family. But his son just turned 18 and now it seems as though the issues are getting worse. I'm not sure he has a diagnosable mental illness (he's been in counseling on and off and nothing was indicated) but makes terrible decisions that are affecting he and his father legally, financially, and emotionally. He's a good kid who typically regrets these decisions and then spirals into depression...but it doesn't keep him from making the same mistakes again. I myself suffer from anxiety and depression, which is triggered anytime one of these situations occurs, and I'm at the point where I'm not sure I can handle any more for my own sanity. I feel terrible because my boyfriend is great and this has nothing to do with him. I don't want him to be alone in dealing with everything (he has no family that can help and no close friends - he has devoted his life to raising his son while working full time), but I just don't have the energy or capacity to do it while also raising my daughter and fighting a long custody battle (which he has been there for me for).
I guess I am just second-guessing if I need to try harder to be there for them or if the relationship is just wrong. Even though I love him tremendously, I'm not sure I was cut out to parent his child. Anyone else been through this?