Skids think they own everything
Does anyone else’s skids just help themselves to your stuff? I’ve found my items, which were taken from the private master bath, my storage cabinet in the garage and items with my initials on them that clearly aren’t their dad’s in their bedrooms.
The one skid even decided to sit on my couch (which they clearly knew was mine before I met their dad) and menstruated on it. (Not even like you can disguise it as the shape is clearly obvious) *wacko*
DH gets pissed when I tell him that I want them to ask my permission to borrow things ESPECIALLY since they’re clearly going into private areas & to teach them to respect my stuff!
Do I not have a right to have my own stuff and not be disrespected? They get pissed when I go into their rooms to straighten them up and vaccum after their lazy asses leaves... why does that mean I can’t be offended when they take my stuff and ruin it?
Wait was the girl wearing pads or had a leakage
Problem whilst menstruating?
2 yrs ago ss helped himself to my touchscreen laptop and when his buggered up told his dad he was using that fancy touchscreen laptop (he knew it was mine) and hubby said he’d have to ask me
i told hubby he had some nerve to actually tell you he was taking my stuff because he has not acknowledged me at home and been so rude disrespectful and not acknowledged our 2 kids (his half siblings), or helped with chores or talk to people respectfully.
now all he does is help himself to some juice in our fridge which i buy from online grocery shopping
thats the extent of my sharingness. Hubby has been told never again does this kid even imply or demand he uses my stuff
Wait was the girl wearing pads or had a leakage
Problem whilst menstruating?
2 yrs ago ss helped himself to my touchscreen laptop and when his buggered up told his dad he was using that fancy touchscreen laptop (he knew it was mine) and hubby said he’d have to ask me
i told hubby he had some nerve to actually tell you he was taking my stuff because he has not acknowledged me at home and been so rude disrespectful and not acknowledged our 2 kids (his half siblings), or helped with chores or talk to people respectfully.
now all he does is help himself to some juice in our fridge which i buy from online grocery shopping
thats the extent of my sharingness. Hubby has been told never again does this kid even imply or demand he uses my stuff
Apparently she feels like
Apparently she feels like hygiene products are not needed at all times during one’s cycle... maybe not even underwear with this stain.
Ok you need to speak to your man and i don’t care
If sd is dragged to the dining table at this discussion and tell hubby its unacceptable and repulsive that she isn’t wearing pads during her period where a shitload of the lining of her uterus, massive clots of tissue/blood, liquid blood is oozing out of her vagina all onto your sofa. Make it that gruesome because that repulsiveness will and should make your man so embarrassed and grossed out that he should kick sense into her. If she refuses to wear pads she can sit in the backyard in a tent and bleed her vagina out or sit on one of those pee pads on the tiled floor and not move. Make it embarassing that way.
its friggin ridiculous its even at this point.
I can’t believe how crappy
I can’t believe how crappy their mom is as a mom.
after being a housewife for 12 years and then went back to the workforce for 3 years and quit because she didn’t like it. She decided to take a Job that required travel meanwhile my husband travels for work her boyfriend travels for work and I work break of dawn hours who is supposed to watch these kids ? She’s a selfish twerp. She only thinks about herself.
Yes, you absolutely have the
Yes, you absolutely have the right to tell them to keep their paws off of your stuff, and I'd be furious if DH didn't respect that.
But please tell me you haven't told them they can't sit on certain furniture?
They can use the couch but
They can use the couch but these two disrespectful self entitled slobs have stained it, spilled stuff on it, pull the cushions off and leave them all over. And these aren’t kids... they’re 14 & 13!
Im working with my therapist to disengage and speak up for myself in several aspects of my life... shoot, his ex suggested they put the two SDs on MY health insurance... this was less than a month ago... (H pays me back, of course) but it’s the principle of it! These aren’t my kids... she hasn’t done crap for my daughter. And all the sudden they’re going to the doctor a lot. I do not have to do anything for them. They have 2 parents and they barely acknowledge my existence.
His ex even suggested my daughter babysit. I’m not their employee
His ex gets no say in the
His ex gets no say in the decisions you and your DH make about your home and he needs to tell her that. If he won’t, then all you can do it set boundaries with him when he brings her requests to you.
That would drive me crazy, though, if my DH entertained allowing BM to dictate what happens in my home.
The skids are poorly behaved because DH allows it.
I feel like the mistress or
I feel like the mistress or the 5th wheel... I don’t even mention my ex by name and rarely ever.
Im so tired of her... he made me go hang out at his old house (hers now) around Christmas time to hang with her parents, current boyfriend and the girls... UGH!
A team of wild horses could
A team of wild horses could not "make me" go to BM's house for any reason.
Call me crazy but when I got
Call me crazy but when I got divorced... the past stays in the past... with minimal contact with the ex... and only for child stuff.
Not OK
My two oldest SSs got caught red handed stealing stuff from my BS”’s room. DH came down on them for it but I was livid. Their reasoning was that they were all “brothers” and that meant they all had to share each other’s things. Of course that only applies one way. They either left nothing here or refused to acknowledge BS ever. They treated him like an outcast and then tried to play the “we’re brothers” card. I lost it and told DH that was a load of crap and if I have to frisk their stealing butts every time they leave the house, they can stop coming. I also put a lock on BSs door. And yes, they actually tried to go in his room again even after getting caught stealing. MSS asked why it was locked. I told him it was because he couldn’t keep his sticky hands dom taking other people’s items.
It is a HUGE issue that you cannot have private items and off limit items from your Skids. You should be able to do that.
This is such typical skid behaviour
We’re family when we want to benefit financially but otherwise totally ignore everyone else like they don’t exist. Things like laptops i have locked with a password so ss would only have limited access under his acct. majority of the time he locks himself in his bedroom
It doesn't sound like your
It doesn't sound like your husband has any more respect for you that his kids do.
"he made me go hang out at his old house (hers now) around Christmas time to hang with her parents, current boyfriend and the girls."
How, exactly, did that work? Did he kidnap you? There is no way in hell that my DH could (or would) MAKE me do something like that.
I think you've got bigger problems that just the kids.
My SD likes to just claim
My SD likes to just claim things as her own. For example, when my grandparents moved they gave us some furniture including a rocking recliner. She decided the recliner was only hers and would pile her blankets and stuffed animals on it to "claim" it. Any time I moved her stuff to sit in it (or rock the baby which was the purpose of needing it) she would sit and glare at me for being in "her" chair. Also we have a small shoe rack thing in the entry way and she would move everyone's shoes off of it and only put hers on. She doesnt take my personal belongings, but when it comes to my ODS things anything that hers is hers and anything that is his is also hers. She takes his books etc and keeps it in her bed tent that hes not allowed to go in. Lots of entitlement going on there.
Why isn't the lockmith on the
Why isn't the lockmith on the way to rekey the locks to initiate the end of your relationship with this shallow and polluted gene pool?
Make the call.
For your own good.
Please.
Allow me to put things in
Allow me to put things in perspective THIS way:
My own bios don't take OR touch my stuff. They know better. They can ask but never just take.
Also, the Stanley Steamer suggestion is a GREAT idea. Keep hiring them at dh expense.
I'm going to short cut this
I'm going to short cut this answer because been there with SDs and DH.
1) Lock up your stuff. This is non-negotiable. Just do it. Buy a box for your bath/bedroom and lock it up. You may need to lock your closet or something, but get creative.
2) I had the same problems with garage/household repair items - I do those things and I need that stuff. So guess what? I locked it up too!
Viola! Problem solved with those.
Now, I had my utensils/food storage/glasses/coffee mugs also disappear (really?!). So if those need replacing, DH pays. I never had a problem 'losing' kitchen items before so it's not on me.
WHY are YOU cleaing up their rooms? Leave them. Just leave them. If things get destroyed, or there's mold/rot issues/infestations - give your DH one warning that if he doesn't take care of it by "x" date then you will. And do it. I've trash bagged OSDs room several times due to the fact I could smell it when I walked by. Once it starts affected others in the household you lose your privacy rights. Same with the bathroom - I hired someone to clean it 1x per month (one room is affordable! DH paid.). Take your stuff and your space back.
I’m stopping for some locks
I’m stopping for some locks on the way home. I’m so tired of their bullshit. And I’m writing up so it can be read and re-read the boundaries that I am setting for all of them.
I do not care if those kids like it or not but if he doesn’t, I’ll be glad to set out on my own.
I wouldn't even bother
I wouldn't even bother writing things up. Just put the locks on. If you've stated it before and repeatedly then writing it up for them won't do a darn thing. DH disliked it when I put the locks on my tool area, but I didn't tell him before nor did I remove them after he knew. I just said, "People woudn't leave my things alone so I took care of it."
Funny thing about "POSSESSIONS."
Around the Java Hut, Javaman noticed some things being gradually "integrated" into the "community possessions basket." Not that there's a specific basket, but think of that as a metaphor.
My underarm deodorant. Hmm, where did it go? Looking in SS's bedroom, he was hiding it and using it as a deodorizer. MY STUFF. That is but one of MANY things that have gone bye-bye.
I lock my garage and do all I can to keep Thing1 and Thing2 from wrecking or taking my stuff. They never had a dad (or mom who backed him up) in their lives who sat them down and said, "These are TOOLS, not toys" and stuff like that. It aggravates me to no end that I have to keep my stuff secured because DW trusts her kids to not be curious (and generally speaking, Thing1 and Thing2 are like DW in that they are seldom curious about anything - I feel like an ubernerd around them!). I have firearms, blades, rifle scopes (even a night vision scope), tools, and a host of things that unsupervised children should NEVER be around. Now that these SKids are 15 years old and almost 14, they're now at that age when I'm sure I'll keep it all locked up because they're too scatterbrained to grasp basic common sense about safety and other life skills, yet too smart to to pay attention - "Yeah, yeah, Java... what's the answer to the question? When do we get to the good stuff?" Teens, right?
And they all like to laugh about me being a nerd LOL.
Anyway, I brought my Sony PS3 into the fold for them, and Thing1 loved referring to it as "his" PS3. Uhh, that was $700 of MY stuff, but, whatever... Then, when Thing1 had kept on complaining to DW, she said she wanted him to have the latest PS4 because "the" PS3 was "glitching out" (I know he was getting used, scratched up disks that were malfunctioning, but he insisted it was "the" PS3). Funny how when I first brought my PS3 in, it got demoted from MY PS3 to THE PS3. Then it went from THE PS3 to him calling it "HIS" PS3. Then when it was not working so well anymore because he's a pinhead, he was calling it THE PS3 again. We (I) got him a (bottom of the line, basic, no accessories) PS4 just to shut the little pinhead up, and I took my PS3 and all my accessories back, but he started saying he wanted to "stack" the two because you can evidently use one like a coprocessor or something, but I have it hidden in my garage, and it'll be a cold day in Hell before that twerp sees it again. Eff that.
I've noticed they all do that. Thing1 wants us all to do our part to take care of "HIS" cat, but when we point out that he calls her HIS cat, that means it's HIS responsibility. So he gets quiet... "Thing1, go clean YOUR CAT'S LITTERBOX." It's kinda fun.
I had a blender. It became THE blender. Then Thing2 broke it. "Java's blender broke." Suddenly now, in Thing2's mind, it was back on me to fix or replace my blender.
This is how things sometimes go, and DW doesn't put a lot into making it better for me.
The younger one is now money
The younger one is now money hungry, and only 13, and she must have friends with parents who spoil them...
every week she asks for something ridiculous. So and so’s dad has a Porsche. When will Dad be getting one?
We need an iced coffee machine... he bought it. They don’t use it.
For Christmas she demanded $150 in cash. If we bought gifts, she demanded the gift receipt be attached so she could immediately return it for cash.
She believes we have to have a mural painted on the ceiling in the foyer. This ain’t the Sistine Chapel...
we need a dog here she says. They’re only here every other weekend and every Thursday so they won’t be here to clean it and he travels for work and I work over 32 miles from the house. No. The word is no. Then get chinchillas she says. Uh NO. Did I mention they have 2 dogs and 4 cats at home? I have a hedgehog. They’re independent and nocturnal. If they don’t like it, they can stay at their mom’s house. they don’t clean up after their own animals at home. WTH would I let them pull that bullshit here?
I think their parents are just letting them do and have everything because of divorce guilt and him traveling a lot for work. Sorry but that’s no excuse for raising brats.
she demands an allowance. We tell her to vacuum then as part of chores to earn allowance. She can only handle vacuuming one room. She then rearranged her room and demands to earn money for it. Maybe if she was a licensed interior designer...
These kids are ridiculous. My parents would’ve killed me if I was like this and I wouldve sold my kid down the river if they acted like that.
Their demands seem BEYOND
Their demands seem BEYOND ridiculous! And it looks like you're holding the line on it, which is great.
SD wanted to go to Cheerleading tryouts. She used to do gymnastics but her dad pressured her to quit it 2 years ago and to play soccer, which she did - so she and her SSister over there could do, together. Now her SSister over there has developed an eating disorder and is quite overweight, and I doubt she'll want to keep playing soccer... It seems like a pile of unhappiness in that house, so I just let a lot go... But when SD came and said she really wanted to do this, I was supportive. I volunteered to take her because her dad is evidently not a fan of cheerleaders (turned down by one and thinks they're all snooty, I guess?) and wants to push the soccer gig.
As it turned out, we went to the meeting prior to tryouts and SD was acting like a complete wretch, opposing anything her mom and I were saying. We got there early, and she wanted to go in IMMEDIATELY. We said let's wait a few till we figure out what building on the campus to go to... no luck looking at Google on a smartphone, so let's just go up where we were starting to see people walking in. Suddenly, she was insisting that we wait, being really crabby. Then she was telling me what to search for on my phone, I assured her I tried exactly that, and it wasn't there... SHE WAS DRIVING US BONKERS, surely because she was feeling some anxiety.
We went inside and SD insisted on reading the stuff in the packet, DW asked to see it... SD said, "NO! I'M READING IT!" I suggested that if she wants our continued support, we need to see what's going on, DW shushed me LOL... I was thinking, "Dang, now you're both being a couple of PITAs!" Then DW read the first card inthe package and said, "OK, after this meeting..." SD said, "It's NOT a MEETING, mommm!" DW pointed her finger at the card at the words and said, "You just read it... Hmm, let's see, 'after this MEETING'... They're calling this a meeting." SD shut up a while LOL...
Thing is, the demanding and insisting and all that, REALLY gets me.
I modulate between engaging and disengaging, and DW got snarky with me this morning, so I will be disengaging a while again. These kids are getting to be a handful, and DW is smacking my hand when I reach out to "have her back," so I'll let her enjoy some Mommy time for a while. That's just what I gotta do around the Java Hut once in a while...
I too understand ...
OMG - My husband has me feeling like I am being totally unrealistic and then I find this site!!!
It was starting to make me question my comman sense. The fact that these are my step children and not the fulltime residence, I felt like a few boundaries of privacy should be in order? The master bedroom, the office. They open most all cabinets, drawers and snoop when here. As my home and step mom , this is uncomfortable. I have to put up things, hide the change, the wine and any important papers or it makes it back to their mom and we end up with more drama.
Glad to know I am nor CRAZY in how I am feeling !!! He is making me feel like I am a wicked witch bc he will not parent.