SIL very defensive of BM
So I was at a family party a few weeks ago and all of FDH's brothers and sisters were there. At some point (no kids were around) BM comes up in conversation and all FDH and I said was that she was aggravating to us.
Well, you would have thought that we had shot one of SIL's kids the way she reacted. She immediately jumped up and said, "She is the mother of your children and I will not be made to pick sides! I have a great relationship with her and I intend to keep it that way!" Then she stormed into the house alone. I just looked at FDH and we all changed the subject.
Now, BM was the one who destroyed their relationship and cleaned out their house and took the kids while FDH was at work one day. It was devastating for him. Not that she left, but that she took the kids away from him. FDH's brother and wife were there for him, but I guess his sister (this screaming-mimi) was not throughout the entire divorce process. BM has always been a mega bitch about visitation, never considers what the kids want at all. There have been many. many times over the years that FDH's kids have wanted to spend time at some family event of FDH's - and with SIL's kids - that BM flat out said NO, just to be mean.
Now SIL seems to have forgotten all of this. I was so tempted to yell at her to defend BM all she wants - BM doesnt make SIL's life miserable on a daily basis. But I kept my mouth shut. I must say it made me like her a little less. How can you choose the woman who treats your bother and your niece and nephew like crap over your own family!
And I know BM exploits this. She is always talking to SIL and BIL - going to kids events where they will all be. It is sickening.
FDH says his sister is like that because their own parents got divorced and she is still mad at her dad... so she has some kind of chip on her shoulder against dads in divorce. I thought that was crap - since SILs dad left them, wouldn't that mean she would not appreciate the woman who left her brother just like her dad did to her mom?
Whatever, some people are just nuts I guess.
Even though I have absolutely
Even though I have absolutely no idea why your SIL is acting like this, I had to respond. I just recently posted “ SIL won't stop talking about BM even though she knows it bothers me .” To make a long story short, BM has done everything she possibly can to break up DH and I and to make our lives miserable. MIL and SIL want to be all buddy-buddy with her and can’t understand why I never want to hang out with them. Maybe it’s because they won’t shut up about BM. I even told SIL I can’t believe she would be friends with someone who has done what BM has done to her brother and his wife.. and I have a brother myself so I pointed out that if someone did what BM has done to MY brother and his wife, I would never speak to her again, let alone be friends with her. DH and I have been together for 3 years and it has been like this from day 1 and has not gotten any better. I have told DH, SIL and MIL all that it bothers me so it’s not like they don’t know what they are doing. I guess some people are just idiots! Oh and SIL does the same thing yours does with defending BM. “She’s the mother of his children.” Who gives a shit!! I am his wife!! Makes me sick.
It won't hurt to reach out to
It won't hurt to reach out to SIL and tell her you had no intention of asking her to take sides and you're sorry your comment hit such a nerve. It costs nothing on your part and can go a long way in keeping family peace.