You are here

Sd thinks I don't like her

GodHelpME's picture

Ok, so yesterday my sd11 said she doesn't think I like her like I like my son. Well, honestly I don't love her like I like my bs. I did let her know I love her and like her but how do you explain to an 11 year old that it is different because I'm not her mom?

I told her he's my only sin and he's special to me but it doesn't mean I don't like you!

Am I crazy or evil or what?

Another part of me thinks she's trying to manipulate me. She has a "everybody hates me" complex. She complains about me, her dad, her mom even the kids at school! I can't believe that everybody doesn't like her or treats her bad. How can yiu get a kid to stop thinking so negatively! .!??

FeuilleMorte's picture

I don't know, that's a very tough age for girls -- without any other info, I don't think she's trying to manipulate you, just crying out for some affection. Which it sounds like you give her, so yay!

I'd stay far away from any comparisons -- that doesn't even need to be part of the conversation.

LilyBelle's picture

That's an all girls at that age issue... she'd have days she felt that way even if she lived at home with both parents in wedded bliss....

She'd be saying, you love my brother more than me, or you love the dog more than me....

so, in general, girls at this age are very insecure, and compare themselves to everyone, especially the supermodels, and needs lots of reassurance.

It might help to say I like different things about you.... and point out the things that make her unique and special.

At least she feels secure enough around you to "lash out" a little.... lashing out at someone is a compliment.... it means they feel safe around you. Isn't that comforting? Blum 3

Starla's picture

Your not crazy or evil you sound like a very caring person! Lot of kids of divorced parents are emotionally painful to the touch. Wish I had advice for you on how you should get her to toughen up. My SD 14 is the same way & her dad is now confronting it when she talks like that. Has been getting better but takes repetition on her dads end.

Hang in there!