Resident kids get the most logical and livable rooms. Visiting kids get rooms that have the least intrusive impact on the rest of the residents. Pure logic. It works. DH needs to try it.

If the larger room makes the most sense regarding location, convenience etc... then put the baby there. If the smaller room makes the most sense then that is your answer. Size if the room is not relevant if both room sizes will suit the basic needs of the kids that go in them, at that point the decision is about convenience.

When we lived in a 2br apt the Skids room was also the guest room so when we had guests he got an aerobed in our huge master BR closet. It had a heat/AC vent and we put a nightstand and lamp in so he could have privacy and comfort. He actually enjoyed it. The three of us would banter and laugh every night before we went to sleep when we had guests.

IMHO of course.

Which room is closer to your the bigger one or smaller one?

in our situation when we first moved in it was a 2 bedroom, skids stayed in one room and DH myself and BS shared a bedroom.( he was one at the time) We eventually added a third bedroom. so now SS and BS share one and SD has her own. our issue is cable. boys room has cable and SD has the xbox. since skids only came over on weekends cable went in BS room (which SD has free access to anytime) but now kids live with us she wants cable in her room too, but a third line would cost us more and we already have extra cost with them moving in.

Start out the way you intend to end up. My stepson is 50/50 and we hoped to have more kids when we moved he was almost five and he got the little room. We used the big room as a guest room until the first baby was born (there are two girls and they share)when he was seven. He did ask why the baby got the bigger room and we told him babies have a lot of stuff and she has one room and he has two rooms for all his stuff. It headed off so many problems not giving him the big room and then making him move before the babies. You will end up resenting her and your husband when you child/ren are crammed in a small room and there is a large room empty 26 days a month.

Closes room to you makes more sense because you want to be able to hear baby and I hate to say it but if their was a fire you need to be able to get to the baby 1st because it cant help it self but an older child can get out a window. I have our layout like this even with my bio kids I always have so its nothing to do with my SD being a step kid. The room size wont matter to a baby and by the time it will theirs a good chance SD wont be living at home or at least coming to stay as much.
Most of the time kids get to an age where set visitation doesn't work for them anymore she'll be out and about with her own friends so don't stress so much if SD gets the bigger room for now coz by the time you bio kid is 10 and wanting more space you SD might be out flatting.
Babys don't need a lot of space its more when the teen years are coming that they want to hang out in their rooms more but again I would keep the room close to use for baby

You don't have a problem with the logic as I read it you just are protective of a un-conceived baby and want to get over the feelings.

Seems like that will happen as the massive work-load looming ahead of you in moving will take care of that.

Normally I would say that the baby should have the bigger room. But since there's not that big of a difference in size, I'd say sd sd should have the bigger one because she's so much older and she will need more space for her things. Unless the baby would be forced to be downstairs or the house is so big that you wouldn't be able to hear the baby, I don't think you can get out of giving her the bigger room without DH taking offense and thinking your being petty. Unless there is built in shelving that would benefit one of them or some other case to make, tread carefully

But you can always switch later. I know other people said it might cause problems, but if space became an issue and custody was still the same arrangement down the line, then you could explain to sd the situation and she would be more mature by then and understand. The baby wouldn't need more space until way later, but we don't even know what kind of difference there is but I hope this helped!

But generally, I do agree that who ever is there more should get the bigger room but be considerate of DH's feelings

That's easy-his kid gets the bigger room. That's how it is in my house even though SD is only here 50% of the time and my BD is here almost all of the time. But then I noticed that a huge tree limb is leaning over SDs room and BDs room is safer, so I go, "ok, your right."

Sorry but whether your future child is born or not, if your trying theres obviously going to be a full time child there. The full time child has the bigger room. It will only cause problems when your child born and needs to change room. Your child will live there his other kid stays four nights a month (which my dsc do) which is absolutely nothing.

Marie5, you keep mentioning feeling guilty about this feeling and not knowing why you had it. What stood out to me in your posts was the line, "The rooms aren't dramatically different, but different enough I think. But we're supposed to have the inspection this week possibly, and if so, she will be with us when we go (and he told her she can pick out her room when we go and that's when all these feelings came rushing)." It's that bracketed bit that would do it for me. You, as a couple, were embarking on this huge commitment in an adult relationship of buying together (for the first time?). The home is like a symbol of your adult relationship. It's the nest where all your adult hopes in each other are reposed and where you will build your mutual life together as parents of your own brood. And although you all are a happily blended group, he's imo crossed a little boundary there by offering her a choice of room when he had not discussed that with you in advance. It's like he trumped you in a little way. Or handed out your bounty and took you for granted. I personally think that's where the feeling came from, and hopefully the experience of going through all this planning with you will teach him not to do it again. Especially if you have the kind of discussions that some of the posters above are suggesting. Those restore you and him to your positions as heads of the household deciding something together and then handing it together to the child.

I personally don't feel that kids need to have two 'homes'. If they feel like they are temporary guests, it's usually because they ARE! And why does that have to be a problem? I have no problem with my kids having a very firm sense of HOME. Home is where they live. They stay with their father but that is not their home. They never feel unwelcome, unloved or in the way just because they don't feel his house is their home. It's not! Just my personal opinion but I do feel that the need for kids to have two 'homes' is actually more about the non-custodial parent's needs. It's like they like to pretend that their kids live with them. To me, it creates instability for my kids. They have never expressed any desire to feel more 'at home' at their dad's place. This is of course different with shared custody (50/50).

Big difference between feeling AT home and feeling HOME.