I can't love my stepson :(
My fiancee have been together for 4 years. My daughter is almost 5 and his son turned 4 a couple months ago, they are 6 months apart. We are getting married next year. The thing is, I can't stand his son
This is how the story goes. I was friends with his baby's momma. She decided to go psycho and go back into doing meth. He left her when their son was 3 months (my daughter 9 months). We got together shortly afterward. She took their son and abused him till FINALLY the courts woke up and granted custody to my fiancee when his son was a year old. But during those nine months life was hell. She threatened to kill me and my daughter, stalked our apartment, and sent her friends after us. She keyed our cars and slashed our tires and a whole bunch of other stuff. After my fiancee got custody she has been a real pain pretending like she actually cares for her son but she doesn't even bother with visitation most of the time because she is too busy getting high.
My fiancee and I have been blissfully in love for 4 years, but I can't get over those first nine months. It has caused me to resent his son. I feel like if he had never been born than my fiancee and I would have eventually got together and had a happy, stress-free, tweaker-free life. My fiancee loves my daughter as his own and cherishes her. He has raised her and been an amazing father to her (her bio-dad is no where near in her life, he doesn't care for her at all). I too have raised his son, but it's been a lie. Everyone believes that I love him as my own but only I know the horrible truth. I pretend to love him because I love my fiancee with a passion. I can't imagine a life without him. I know that marrying him means accepting his son as my own, but I am really struggling with it. His very presence annoys me. It's so sad that an innocent small child can invoke these kind of feelings in me, but I know it is his mom's fault. Every time I look at him I see his mom's face and I hate her with a passion. You would hate her too if she threatened to kill your baby and sent people after your baby. I try to brainwash myself by saying "you only hate him because he is hers and because of him you will never be rid of her, it's not his fault, it's not his fault" but it's hard. His face annoys me because he looks like her. His voice annoys me because he sounds like her. I feel soooooooo bad and like a terrible person because I can't love this child. I don't know what to do