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I hate my stepson :(

Rainbowdash90's picture

Submitted by Rainbowdash90 on Sun, 10/25/2015 - 5:10am

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Sorry if this is long just wanted other people's opinions or advice I feel horrible about it my husband and I have been married for two years he has two children from a previous relationship and two with me plus a baby on the way I have never had problems with his daughter but when it comes to his son he is a terrible monster he is 12 he lies steals hits his sister's and brother talks back yells at me as loud as he can breaks things he is not self sufficient how a 12 year old should be he can't tie his shoes put his sweater right side in get cereal by himself without making a huge disaster he put peanut butter behind the radiator and smashed crackers everywhere on purpose after he knew I spent hours cleaning it he has actually put feces behind the radiator in the bathroom!!!! My three year old wouldn't even do that! He throws tantrums over the smallest thing and I'm talking about full on screaming till he's red kicking throwing himself and fake crying till days on end He is discipline by his father but it does no good my stepson has called children protective services on him saying outrageous things like he hit him with a board pushed him down the stairs punches him in the face and all kinds of nonsense he used to tell my husband I wouldn't feed him like seriously wtf the school has called me plenty of times to take him home the last call was for him banging his head against the wall in front of the teacher and class and he insisted that another child did it he has caused my husband to change so many jobs almost made him lose his current job he has caused so much stress on us and the other children I don't know what to do anymore his biological mother has never been around only once every three months or so she will see him she has told me herself she wants nothing to do with him we have tried counseling for him medication and nothing works we even both took parenting classes to see what we could do different and nothing Sad it's at the point where no one in the family can stand him even his own grandfather will be in the same room with him having him feels like a never ending nightmare I don't know what to do anymore it's so bad I get awful cramps and my blood pressure is threw the roof my obgyn said it was from stress and try to relax but how can I with this terror wrecking my house and things the constant yelling and crying and him treating me like garbage? Wondering if any other stepmoms have dealt with this type of behavior and what you did or would do to stop it

bmssuck's picture

Submitted by bmssuck on Sun, 10/25/2015 - 8:01am

I would take everything from him. Then give it back day by day as long as there is good behaviour on his part.Leave only a mattress a blanket and a pillow in his room. Everything else needs to be earned. And it will get worse before it gets better. The bigger tantrums come when the child feels they are losing control. Youve got a full year of hell, but better now than when you're seeing him in jail, and you cant help anymore. Remember skid really hasnt had a stable mom. How mad he must be. Give him goals to meet. Is anything important to him. With my son he wouldn't stay in his seat at school, so to watch tv on the weekends he had to behave all week. Once he did that consistently he was allowed tv after homework and chores. Maybe a sport like karate where the leader doesn't take crap and teaches respect would help. And being a step parent is hard. Trust me I have a few forums, just keep trying.The feces thing, my sd13 put craps on our wall about a year ago. Then she had to clean it. Actions have consequences, cleaning it yourself doesn't help. They have to learn you won't. I'd give chores. Keeps em busy and not devastating things. Then they actually appreciate the free time. And doing chores together brings you together. And if you can't work side by side yet, work up to it. He sweeps you do dishes. I try these things and they help. No life isn't perfect, and sometimes I want to strangle my family.lol. but they are bearable.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 10/25/2015 - 2:10pm

Sorry, but bringing more kids into a home with the terror described in the OP, seems crazy. On top of worrying the brat hurting her kids, she had to worry about CPS placing her kifd into foster care.

All it takes is one overzealous case worker to believe the boy's lies and all of the kids may end up in foster care.

Maybe mom is of the mindset that she isn't taking the kid in after dad screwed him up. That issue has been discussed here. Moms have full custody, then when the kid gets out of hand, they want to ship them off to dad. Many posters agree that the kid shpuld stay with mom.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Sun, 10/25/2015 - 3:53pm

Yeah, but she keeps popping out babies into an unsafe environment. Her DH has custody, the kid isn't going away, I would have never had kids with this dude. Up next: her getting her OWN kids taken away due to this kid' falsehoods.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 10/25/2015 - 2:11pm

If dad is the custodial parent, he can't just dump the kid at mom's house.

Rainbowdash90's picture

Submitted by Rainbowdash90 on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 2:53am

Wow ctnmom judgmental much? What does it matter if I have two or two hundred children so people love big families as long as they are all taken care of and we are able to provide for them my husband has a great job it's not like we live off the state all of the other children are well behaved and do great in school even my stepdaughter so please keep your rude judgmental comments to yourself thanks.
Dad has sole custody. Stepsons mom tried to kill herself when they were babies skids are unaware she doesn't answer the phone and if I drive the skids down there she will lock the door and won't let them in so just "dropping" them there is not an option.
Thank you for all the great ideas bmssuck will definitely be trying some of those and stepmeanie for not being an uptight judgmental b!tch Wink

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 8:12am

I'm not judging you. You came on this forum with an outrageous post and I was commenting on it. You're putting your children in an unsafe environment:fact. You could have your kids taken away because of your SS's false accusations:fact. When someone tells you an unpleasant truth, that's' not judgment.

Itsnotmyworld's picture

Submitted by Itsnotmyworld on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 3:40pm

My God, get some control! He's a kid....he can only do what he is allowed. My bio son was the kid from hell and we duked it out unitl he went to live with his father. There he introduced them to hell. Some kids are just not easy to love but they still deserve love. You don't hate him, you dislike his ways. Go to the library and check out some books on parenting. Start finding solutions to help you better cope with him.

Rainbowdash90's picture

Submitted by Rainbowdash90 on Mon, 10/26/2015 - 4:01pm

Caused him to lose jobs before we were together there wasn't a babysitter in the city who would watch this boy and no one on husbands side of the family would watch him. Ss is in a special needs school but they can't even handle him. He is in counseling 4 days out of the week and on prescription medications but it feels like whatever we try or do never helps. All the things I described above is on a daily basis not just a few times a week but a constant thing. My husband and I took parenting classes to see if it would help us and basically were told put him in the corner when he is bad.